Some people think that dangerous sports should be banned, while others think people should be free to choose. Discuss both views and give your option.

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There is no denying the fact that some
sports
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cuold cuse sever injury and might lead to death in some cases.
While
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it is commonly held
belife
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belief
that
governernt
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governments
should
strict
Replace the word
strictly regulate
these
sports
Use synonyms
and banned it, there is
also
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an argument that people should have free will to make their own
desegion
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decisions
.
This
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essay will analyses
this
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both points of view and express my opinion. One one hand,
high risk
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high-risk
sports
Use synonyms
might
cuses serias acsidens
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cause serious accidents
.
In other
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words
Add a comma
words,
show examples
opening these
activites
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activities
for unmetures and not
poffichenals indevisual deffentlly
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officials definitely
will lead to unfoshintly event.
In addition
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, rising the cost of
madical
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medical
care and long
staying
Replace the word
stays
in hospitals
which
Punctuation problem
, which
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the government pay for. For
exampe
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example
, car
rising
Use the right word
racing
show examples
and boxing could be interisting specilly for teenagers, and if
the
Correct pronoun usage
they
show examples
tried to copy
experts
Punctuation problem
experts,
show examples
it
defentlly tuns
Correct your spelling
definitely turns
out to bad results.
On the other hand
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, each person responsibal for his
one desicen
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own decision
. It is possible to say that adults are capabile to know whats right and
rong
Correct your spelling
wrong
, what they
shoud
Correct your spelling
should
do and what
theye
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they
should not.
Moreove
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Moreover
, these
sports
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could be enjoyable and fun for
viraity
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a variety
of the community.
For instance
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, claiming
mountins
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mountains
is
crucial
Correct article usage
a crucial
show examples
hobby for some people. In conclusion, there are no easy answers to
this
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question. On balance, I tend to believe that adults should have their own free will,
although
Linking Words
government
Correct article usage
the government
show examples
should banned teenager from these dangerous
sports
Use synonyms
.

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task response
Answer both sides in a more full way. You gave both views, but each side needs more clear detail.
task response
Make your opinion very clear in the body, not only in the end.
task response
Use examples with a bit more detail so the reader can see why your point is true.
coherence and cohesion
Put one main idea in each part and explain it step by step.
coherence and cohesion
Use linking words well, but check them carefully. Some are used in the wrong place or repeated.
coherence and cohesion
Make sure each sentence connects clearly to the one before it.
task response
You answered the full question and gave your opinion.
coherence and cohesion
Your essay has a clear start, two body parts, and an ending.
task response
You used some examples to support your ideas.
Word Count

IELTS says that you should write a minimum of 250 words in writing task 2. If you go under word count you will lose marks in task response.

A very long essay will not give you a higher band score.

Aim for between 260 to 290 words in writing task 2. This will ensure a concise essay and will be realistic in terms of time management. You have only 40 minutes to write the essay and you need around 10 minutes of planning time, so you will not be able to write a long essay in 30 minutes.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • dangerous sports
  • high risk
  • serious injury
  • lose a life
  • safety rules
  • protective gear
  • personal choice
  • free to choose
  • take a risk
  • public cost
  • health care system
  • long-term care
  • copy bad behavior
  • strict control
  • age limit
  • proper training
  • reduce the risk
  • challenge yourself
  • test limits
  • complete ban
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