IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

Nowadays for many people internet is replacing books. What is your opinion?

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In my opinion,
Use synonyms
internet
Correct article usage
the internet
show examples
 being replaced
Linking Words
instead of
Change preposition
by
show examples
books
Use synonyms
 could have advantages if people
knows
Correct subject-verb agreement
know
show examples
 when
they
Wrong verb form
to
show examples
 use online
books
Use synonyms
 and in specific age.
In
Change preposition
On
show examples
 the
first
Correct determiner usage
one
show examples
 hand ,
advantages
Correct article usage
the advantages
show examples
 of using
Use synonyms
internet
Correct article usage
the internet
show examples
instead
Linking Words
 of
books
Use synonyms
 would be so helpful for
18 and above
Correct word order
people 18 and above years old
show examples
years
Use synonyms
 old people and specially collage studants ,
for
Linking Words
example
Punctuation problem
example,
show examples
 college students need to take many things like
books
Use synonyms
, booknote and pens
and
Punctuation problem
, and
show examples
this
Linking Words
 will make students tired,as you
know
Punctuation problem
know,
show examples
 universities needs alot of walking
so
Punctuation problem
, so
show examples
to carry
Wrong verb form
carrying
show examples
 many supplies
Linking Words
this
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
will
let
Verb problem
make it difficult for
show examples
 students to continue
by
Change preposition
due to
show examples
 low energy.
Linking Words
instead
Capitalize the word
Instead
show examples
 of buying every semester more than ten
books
Use synonyms
 and paying thousands of money uou can
by
Verb problem
buy
show examples
 one tablet and buy every
book
Use synonyms
by
Change preposition
for
show examples
 less money because companies will not pay you for the
book
Use synonyms
 factores they will make only one online
book
Use synonyms
 and start selling
so
Punctuation problem
, so
show examples
 it will be easier. In the other hand , replacing
books
Use synonyms
 by
internet
Use synonyms
 could be harful if less than 18
years
Use synonyms
 old stars using it , because under 18
years
Use synonyms
 old is in age that need to learn
for example
Linking Words
 reading, writing and grammer so they will use the tablet more than 8 hours in a day and that could harm there eyes and kids need to build there selfs in these
years
Use synonyms
,
also
Linking Words
 kids will not take care will for the tablets so its not useful for them.
Linking Words
overall
Capitalize the word
Overall
show examples
,
In
Fix capitalization
in
show examples
 my
opinion
Add a comma
opinion,
show examples
books
Use synonyms
 get replaced by online
books
Use synonyms
is
Correct subject-verb agreement
are
show examples
 way better than
books
Use synonyms
 , but all of the responsibilities
is
Correct subject-verb agreement
are
show examples
 for the parents when
the
Correct pronoun usage
they
show examples
 start replace the
internet
Use synonyms
 by
book
Use synonyms
 for
there
Use the right word
their
show examples
children's
Check wording
children
show examples
.

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task response
Answer the question more directly. Say clearly if you think the internet is better, worse, or both.
task response
Develop each main idea more. Add one clear reason and one clear example in each body paragraph.
task response
Keep your ideas focused on the topic. Some parts are hard to follow because the meaning is not fully clear.
coherence cohesion
Use a clearer paragraph plan: introduction, one body paragraph for benefits, one body paragraph for problems, and a short conclusion.
coherence cohesion
Link ideas with simple words like first, also, however, because, and finally.
coherence cohesion
Make each sentence easier to read. Shorter sentences can help your meaning stay clear.
task response
You give a clear opinion and you keep it through the essay.
task response
You include examples about college students and children.
coherence cohesion
Your essay has an introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion.
Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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