IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

Some people say that now is the best time in history to be living. What is your opinion about this? What other time in history would be interesting to live in? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

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It is believed by some
persons
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people
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 that
,
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apply
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 it is better to be living in
this
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 particular era.
However
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, I think that in every era there are
things
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 that could be enjoyable, and other
things
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 that might not be satisfying.
This
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 essay will discuss
on
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apply
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this
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, and
also
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 look at a
time
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 in the past when the situation of the world was better. Nowadays, some people think that it is
more
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apply
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better to be alive in
this
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period
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 than any other
time
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, but I believe that every
period
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 in
time
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 comes with its own merits and demerits. Currently, we enjoy the advancement in technology and improved communication that were absent in the olden days,
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however
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apply
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we suffer a higher rate
in
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of
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 fraud and some other
crimal
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criminal
 activities when compared to past years.
For example
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, business is made easy today because of
internet
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the internet
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, which helps in the marketing of products.
Nonetheless
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, children are now exposed to a lot of adult
contents
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content
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 because of
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this
Correct determiner usage
the
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 same internet.
Moreover
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, two decades ago would have been a great
time
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 to live, because
,
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apply
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 the economy was thriving
then
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 compared to now. During
this
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period
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,
things
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 were more affordable than presently, where
things
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 are on the rise constantly. Previously, the prices of food and other
amneties
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amenities
 were affordable to
low income
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low-income
 earners.
Example
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An example
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 can be seen in Nigeria, about twenty years ago, a bag of rice was sold for about 8 thousand naira, but currently it is sold for about 80 thousand naira.
Also
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, in the past, people communicated better
,
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;
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 they had more face-to-face conversations.
Whereas
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 currently, communication is mainly done through social media, which has led to reduced social
relationship
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relationships
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. In conclusion, I believe that whatever
period
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 we talk about, there will be benefits and there will
also
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 be downsides to that
period
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,
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however
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apply
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for me, about two
dacades
Correct your spelling
decades
 ago would have been a better
to
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time
show examples
 to live in.

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task response
Answer both parts more fully. Your view is clear, but the second part needs more detail about why that past time would be interesting to live in.
task response
Make your main ideas more clear. Some points are good, but a few are too general and need deeper explanation.
task response
Use examples in a more exact way. The Nigeria rice example is useful, but explain more clearly how it supports your main point.
coherence cohesion
Your essay has a clear basic structure: intro, body, and end. Keep this plan.
coherence cohesion
Link ideas more smoothly. Some sentences start well with words like 'Moreover' and 'However', but the flow is not always natural.
coherence cohesion
Develop one point fully before moving to the next. This will make each paragraph easier to follow.
task response
You answered the topic and gave your opinion clearly.
task response
You included a real example, and this helps support your ideas.
coherence cohesion
You wrote an introduction and a conclusion, so the essay feels complete.
coherence cohesion
Your paragraphs are in a logical order.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • unprecedented
  • prosperity
  • technological advancements
  • global connectivity
  • longevity
  • opportunities
  • self-expression
  • renaissance
  • exploration
  • industrial revolution
  • roaring twenties
  • unparalleled
  • groundbreaking
  • transformative
  • revolutionary
  • epoch-making
  • flourished
  • transcended
  • innovations
  • distinguished
  • renaissance artists
  • explorers
  • innovative entrepreneurs
  • exhilarating
  • era
  • unforgettable
  • boom
  • vibrant
  • exuberant
  • transformed
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