Giving Detail Information of Crime in newspaper and on television has bad consequences, some suggest that government should impose some restriction on them. What extent you agree or disagree?

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The media has changed greatly in recent years,
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this
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and this
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includes the coverage of crimes. Many individuals argue that certain
details
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about any crime should not be revealed by the media. I completely agree with the confidentiality of some sensitive information.
Firstly
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, revealing all the criminal
details
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on newspaper can have a negative impact on the investigations.
For example
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, some information can be
benefitial
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beneficial
for the persons who committed a crime. It can act as an alarm for them, so they will continue to hide from the public or eliminate the
evidance
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evidence
of their action. The result can be a
misleading of
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misinterpretation by
the authorities to reach for the actual killers.
In addition
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, some people are extremely
sesitive
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sensitive
to some views of
a
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apply
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criminal events. Providing
details
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on television
,
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will definitely affect their emotions in a negative way.
For instance
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, some views of violence can lead to disturbane of sleep and nightmares for those individuals.
Also
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,
such
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revealing can have an unhealthy and dangerous effect on teenagers. At
this
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relatively young age, the influence of
such
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content is great.
As, their
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Their
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behaviour can be altered
,
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after being exposed to criminal
details
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, and they may end up with some psychological issues.
To conclude
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, restrictions on criminal
details
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should be applied by the governments not just to protect
the
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apply
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justice, but
also
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the mental health of the population.

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task response
Answer all parts of the task more fully. You agree, but you should also say a little more about why some people may not agree, or show the extent of your view more clearly.
task response
Give more clear and full ideas in each body paragraph. Some points are good, but they need a bit more detail to feel complete.
task response
Use more specific examples. Your examples are relevant, but they are still quite general.
coherence cohesion
Your essay has a clear start, middle, and end, but some links between ideas are weak.
coherence cohesion
Some sentences do not flow well because of word choice or grammar, so the meaning is less clear in places.
coherence cohesion
Support each main point with one extra sentence of explanation so the reader can follow your ideas more easily.
task response
You clearly state your opinion in the introduction and keep the same view through the essay.
task response
Your main ideas are relevant to the question: crime reports can hurt police work and also harm viewers.
coherence cohesion
You use a clear essay shape with an introduction, two body paragraphs, and a conclusion.
coherence cohesion
Each body paragraph has one main idea, which helps the reader follow your argument.
Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

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