IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The table shows information about spending money on some items in 2002.

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The table outlines data about
people expenses on various itmes
Correct word order
people's expenses on various items
show examples
 in five different
countries
Use synonyms
 in 2002.Units are measured in percentages.
Overall
Linking Words
, all five
countries
Use synonyms
 which were depicted spent
money
Use synonyms
 mostly on food,beverages and nicotine products,
while
Linking Words
 the second highest
proportion
Use synonyms
 of spent
money
Use synonyms
 in
five
Correct article usage
the five
show examples
countries
Use synonyms
 followed clothing and shoes. Regarding the highest numbers, two
countries
Use synonyms
Ireland
Punctuation problem
, Ireland
show examples
 and
Turkey
Punctuation problem
Turkey,
show examples
 spent the highest amount of
money
Use synonyms
 on food, beverages and tobacco, accounting for 28.91% and 32.14% respectively,
while
Linking Words
 people in Sweden made up 15.77% for
this
Linking Words
 category.Turning to the clothing, the highest
proportion
Use synonyms
 of spent
money
Use synonyms
 on footwear and clothing
showed
Verb problem
was in
show examples
 Italy,
while
Linking Words
Use synonyms
proportion
Correct article usage
the proportion
show examples
 in Turkey followed Italy's percentage.
Money
Use synonyms
which
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
spent on entertainment and education was the smallest
between
Change preposition
among
show examples
 all sectors, the highest
proportion
Use synonyms
 show Turkey, accounting for 4.35%. Regarding the lowest figures, the lowest amount of
money
Use synonyms
which
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
spent on beverages and tobacco was in Sweden and Italy, made up 15.77% and 16.36% respectively.
However
Linking Words
,
Use synonyms
proportion
Correct article usage
the proportion
show examples
 of
sweden
Capitalize the proper name
Sweden
show examples
 in clothing and footwear stood at 5.40%.People in Ireland and Spain
,
Punctuation problem
apply
show examples
 spent for 1.98% and 2.21% respectively.

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "while".
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Vocabulary: Replace the words countries, money, proportion with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "showed" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "amount" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "proportion" was used 5 times.
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