Some people say that the best way to improve public health is by increasing the number of sports facilities. Others, however, say that this would have little effect on public health and that other measures are required.Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

✍️ Want to check your own essay?Get started →
Some opine that the best solution to improve public health is by increasing the number of
sports
Use synonyms
facilities,
whereas
Linking Words
;
Punctuation problem
apply
show examples
others believe
this
Linking Words
would make little difference and other alternatives are essential.
This
Linking Words
essay will evaluate both views and conclude with a personal opinion. Increasing the amount of
sports
Use synonyms
facilities would encourage people to exercise more often.
This
Linking Words
is because accessing the places would be more convenient.
This
Linking Words
results in more of the population being healthy and fit.
As a result
Linking Words
, the public health would improve.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, more
sports
Use synonyms
facilities may not improve public health.
This
Linking Words
is because there can be other causes preventing the growth. One reason is the lifestyle people choose to live by. Individuals are healthy;
however
Linking Words
,
Linking Words
however;
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
their diet is not up to healthy standards.
For instance
Linking Words
, a person who works out regularly but does not consume a balanced diet may feel like they are in good shape but have poor results in medical reports.
In addition
Linking Words
, the pricing may not be suitable. New customers who lack knowledge and are new to the environment would refer to the trainers with the gym membership.
Therefore
Linking Words
, if it is expensive, the customers would be discouraged.
As a result
Linking Words
, it would not make a difference to increase the
sports
Use synonyms
institutes.In conclusion, opening more athletic institutes would not improve the public well-being if they are costly.
Moreover
Linking Words
, it
also
Linking Words
depends on the decisions of each person.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task response
Answer both sides more fully. You talk about sports places and also other causes, but your ideas are quite short.
task response
Give your own opinion more clearly. Say exactly which side you support and why.
task response
Use one clear example with more detail. Your example about diet is relevant, but it is not fully developed.
coherence and cohesion
Organize ideas in clear paragraphs. Your essay has a basic structure, but some parts are joined too closely.
coherence and cohesion
Use linking words more carefully. Some links are repeated, and some punctuation makes the flow hard to follow.
coherence and cohesion
Make each main point easy to follow. Explain one idea, then support it, before moving to the next one.
task response
You discuss both views, which matches the task.
coherence and cohesion
You include an introduction and a conclusion.
coherence and cohesion
Your ideas are usually connected in a logical order.
Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • public health
  • sports facilities
  • physical activity
  • exercise
  • chronic diseases
  • heart disease
  • obesity
  • inclusivity
  • participation
  • safe environment
  • social interaction
  • community engagement
  • comprehensive approach
  • health education programs
  • environmental factors
  • healthcare infrastructure
  • quality healthcare services
  • public health initiatives
What to do next:
Look at other essays: