IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4

The internet has greatly increased our access to information. To what extent do you think this is a good thing? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

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it
Capitalize the word
It
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 is believed that the
intrernet
Correct your spelling
internet
 has greatly increased our
acces
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access
 to information.
i
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 completely agree with
this
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 statement because it has merit rather than demerit for some reasons.
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On
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 the one hand, the main benefit of
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 are
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apply
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able to commit
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to plenty
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 of activities effortless that we can complete
it
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them
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 more quickly and
practical
Replace the word
practically
.
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 is because we
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use
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apply
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send several
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 by
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 obtain information that we
fascinating
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find fascinating
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whenever
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. For
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for example
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we
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, when we
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reseach about
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research
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 news that occupy right now ,we only
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use our
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, and then
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 we type what we want on
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the phone
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 .inside some
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moments,
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internet
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really
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is really
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 useful
in ourselves
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to us
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. it is doubt that nowdays the scientiest tried to develop
function
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the function
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 of
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internet
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the internet
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 in the future in order to
more
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bring more
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much
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apply
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advantages to
humankids
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humankind
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on
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 the other hand, there are some drawbacks
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to
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this
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use it has
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.
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 almost every time on their
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do
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notice
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if they
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 stay up until
mighnight
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midnight
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for
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instance
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have
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gone
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 to school the next day.
so
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 they don't have knowledge .
therefore
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 they
feel
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find it
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look
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 for
some
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a
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 job when gratuated from university
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, and
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then
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 they will be homeless
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that is
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use it
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a crime
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 because they don't have exceptional daily
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lives.
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to
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 sum up,it
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is
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greatly
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 increased
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apply
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our time
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 to
utilize
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utilise
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 it , later it will be
trouble
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a trouble
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of
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in
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 life.

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task response
Answer the question more directly. Say clearly why you fully agree, and keep this view the same in the whole essay.
task response
Use main ideas that fit your view. If you say it is a good thing, give more space to good points than bad points.
task response
Add clearer examples. Your examples should be real, simple, and easy to follow.
coherence and cohesion
Make each paragraph have one clear main idea. Start with the idea, then explain it, then give an example.
coherence and cohesion
Use linking words more carefully. Some are used well, but some sentences do not connect in a clear way.
coherence and cohesion
Check sentence order. Some ideas jump too fast, so the reader may get lost.
coherence and cohesion
You gave an introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion.
task response
You tried to show both good and bad sides of the internet.
coherence and cohesion
You used some linking words like 'on the one hand', 'for instance', and 'to sum up'.
Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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