IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 3

Nowadays, many parents put a lot of pressure on their children to succeed academically. What are the reasons for this ? Do you think it's a positive or a negative development?

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In today's world ,academic
success
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 is the most important thing for
parents
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.
Parents
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pressurize
Verb problem
pressure
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 their children to succeed academically. The main reason for
this
Linking Words
 problem is to fit
in to
Change preposition
into
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 the societal norms of having a bright
child
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. Every
child
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 is different and has
different
Correct article usage
a different
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 mind. Its not necessary that everyone is bright and they are good at studies.
Linking Words
Therefore
Punctuation problem
Therefore,
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 they may
better
Verb problem
be better
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in
Change preposition
at
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 other things.
Instead
Linking Words
 of putting pressure on these children, the
parents
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 can understand their problem and support them. By
Linking Words
this
Add a comma
this,
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 the children can gain confidence
which
Punctuation problem
, which
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 can ultimately lead to
success
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 itself. Some
parents
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also
Linking Words
 draw
comparison
Check wording
comparisons
show examples
 between their
child
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 and other
students
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. Doing
Linking Words
this
Punctuation problem
this,
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 the
child
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 undermines himself
Linking Words
Punctuation problem
, due
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due to
Change preposition
apply
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which he can't score well.
On the other
Linking Words
hand
Add a comma
hand,
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 there are some positive aspects of
this
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 topic. Academic
success
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 is
also
Linking Words
 necessary for the
students
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.
This
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 is because without academic
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success
Punctuation problem
success,
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 it is difficult to get
in to
Correct your spelling
into
 a good college. To
also
Linking Words
 get economically successful
studying
Punctuation problem
, studying
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 is necessary.
Therefore
Linking Words
. The
parent`s
Check wording
parents'
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 pressure sometimes has a good cause too. Some
students
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 even agree that healthy pressure helps them to succeed academically.
To conclude
Linking Words
 , even though academic
success
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 is crucial for
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
students
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but
Correct word choice
,
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instead
Linking Words
 of pressurising them,
parents
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 can use
more
Rephrase
apply
show examples
better ways to help them achieve
success
Use synonyms
.

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task response
Answer both parts more clearly. Give one or two clear reasons why parents do this, then say clearly if you think it is good or bad.
task response
Use ideas that are more full. Some points are good, but they need more explanation so the reader can see your meaning.
task response
Add simple real examples. For example, talk about jobs, school places, or stress at home.
coherence and cohesion
Make each body part have one main idea. This will help the essay feel more clear and easy to follow.
coherence and cohesion
Use linking words carefully, like first, also, however, and as a result. Some parts now feel sudden or not smooth.
coherence and cohesion
Check how one sentence leads to the next. A few ideas stop too fast or do not connect well.
task response
You answered the topic and gave your opinion in the end.
task response
You included both the bad side and the good side of parent pressure.
coherence and cohesion
Your essay has an introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion.
coherence and cohesion
Some linking words are used, such as therefore and on the other hand.
Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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