As countries develop, more and more people buy and use their own cars. Does the advantage of this for individuals outweigh the disadvantage for the environment?

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It is often argued that private vehicle ownership is becoming more common nowadays.
While
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this
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issue has some advantages for people and disadvantages for the environment, I believe that the drawbacks are more significant. There are several advantages for people associated with
this
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matter. One of the main benefits is that using a private car offers a faster commuting method.
This
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means that people do not need to spend an excessive amount of time commuting, which can have a positive impact on their living standards. Another positive point is that travelling by a private car is more flexible.
This
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is particularly beneficial because it can make the trip more pleasant and comfortable.
For example
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, passengers can stop the vehicle whenever they want to enjoy nature and take some rest.
On the other hand
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, the drawbacks of
this
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matter for the environment are more significant. One major disadvantage is that the number of cars on the streets increases, which can negatively affect air quality
due to
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higher levels of emissions released by the cars.
In addition
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, increasing demand for road network expansion is another negative point. If
this
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trend continues, it is likely to lead to the damage of a larger number of wild animals’ habitats.
For instance
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, if a new road is built because of the increasing number of private vehicles, some parts of the natural environment must be destroyed. In conclusion,
although
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this
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issue has both advantages and disadvantages, I believe that its cons outweigh the pros because they have more widespread and long-lasting impacts, particularly in terms of air quality and habitat destruction.

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task response
Make your main answer even more direct in the first paragraph. Say very clearly why the bad side is stronger.
task response
Add one more clear example for the good side, not only for the bad side.
task response
Explain your ideas a little more deeply. Some points are clear, but they could be developed more.
coherence and cohesion
Use linking words with more care. Your essay is easy to follow, but some links are a bit repeated.
coherence and cohesion
Make each body paragraph grow in a more even way. The bad side has stronger support than the good side.
coherence and cohesion
Try to connect the last sentence of each paragraph more closely to your main opinion.
task response
You answer both sides and give a clear opinion.
task response
Your ideas stay on the topic and are mostly well explained.
coherence and cohesion
Your essay has a clear beginning, middle, and end.
coherence and cohesion
Each paragraph has one main focus, so the essay is easy to follow.
Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

Topic Vocabulary:
  • urban sprawl
  • carbon emissions
  • sustainable transport
  • convenience
  • infrastructure development
  • traffic congestion
  • air pollution
  • greenhouse gases
  • economic growth
  • public transportation
  • environmental sustainability
  • individual mobility
  • quality of life
  • automotive industry
  • climate change
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