IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

The internet has made possible for everybody to read anything online for free. This will make it unnecessary to pay for printed materials such as books or newspapers in the future. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

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The
internet
Use synonyms
 has made it possible for everybody to access online material for free.
However
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, the crucial question is whether online
materials
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 will make it unnecessary to pay for printed
materials
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such
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 as books or newspapers in the future. Personally, I partially disagree with
this
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 view and believe that there is a need to have both digital and hard
copies
Punctuation problem
copies,
show examples
 as some
people
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 still rely on printed copies in certain situations.
To begin
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 with, the integration of the
internet
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 into our lives has significantly
revolutionized
Change the spelling
revolutionised
show examples
 how
people
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 search for information using
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
digital resources. Nowadays, it is easy to access a wide range of online
materials
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 instantly, and
people
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 do not need to go to libraries or purchase printed books.
For example
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, accessing academic resources
have
Correct subject-verb agreement
has
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 become very convenient to university students
,
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;
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 they have full access to their e-books and published articles through the
internet
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 at any time.
As a result
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, we
recognize
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recognise
show examples
 that
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
online education has been increasingly spread and most higher education ministries have approved distance learning because it provides students with learning outcomes comparable to those earned through traditional learning.
However
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, textbooks are necessary for some older
people
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 for several reasons. They believe that printed
materials
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 help them to concentrate better because they cannot focus on
screen
Correct article usage
a screen
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 for a long period of time.
For instance
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, some lawyers depend on printed records to review clients' files
instead
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 of looking at e-files.
This
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 is because it is easier for them to go through them smoothly.
Consequently
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, the use of hard copies is still necessary for certain individuals and cannot be completely replaced by online
materials
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.
To conclude
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, I admit that the
internet
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 has
been
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become
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 widespread significantly and
became
Wrong verb form
has become
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 the dominant practice to retrieve data.
Although
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,
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apply
show examples
 it cannot
be
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apply
show examples
completely outweigh the needs for printed documents to
fulfill
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fulfil
show examples
 the necessities of some individuals who prefer them over digital resources.

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task response
Make your main answer more clear at the start. Say exactly how far you agree or disagree in one very direct sentence.
task response
Add one more clear example to support your ideas. This will make your points stronger and easier to trust.
task response
Develop your second body paragraph more. Explain more why printed books or papers are still needed.
coherence and cohesion
Link some ideas more smoothly. A few sentences feel a bit long or not fully connected.
coherence and cohesion
Keep one main idea in each paragraph. This will help your essay stay easy to follow.
coherence and cohesion
Be careful with conclusion links. Do not use 'Although' after a full stop in the conclusion.
task response
Your essay answers the question and gives a clear opinion.
task response
You use examples about students and lawyers, which helps support your ideas.
coherence and cohesion
Your essay has a clear introduction, body paragraphs, and conclusion.
coherence and cohesion
You use linking words like 'To begin with', 'However', and 'To conclude'.
Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

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