Movies and computer games containing violence are popular. Some people say they have a negative effect on society and should be censored. Others say they are just harmless relaxation. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion:

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Movies
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and digital
games
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containing violence are common. There is a debate about
if
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whether
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they should be censored because of their negative effects on society. Some people say that they should be censored,
while
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others are against
this
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view. I personally completely agree that any online
games
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or
movies
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should have certain restrictions to protect the
community
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.
This
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essay will discuss both views and provide relevant examples.
Firstly
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, some people argue that
movies
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and computer
games
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containing
violations
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violence
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should be
ceased
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censored
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because of their potential risks in the
community
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.
Although
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most of the audiences who attend these
movies
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or play video
games
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are teenagers,
yet
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apply
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they might include prohibited sections or clips
such
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as using drugs and weapons.
In
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addition
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addition,
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they might not have age restrictions.
As a result
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, statistics show a significant annual increase in
number
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the number
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of crimes among these ages.
This
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example illustrates why some people insist on the need to censor
such
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records and electronic
games
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.
On the other hand
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, other individuals find that these
games
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are
kind
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a kind
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of entertainment and do not have any potential negative effects on the
community
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that require urgent actions from
authorized
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authorised
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institutions.
Additionally
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, they believe that these records are just short clips used for relaxation and do not have violations.
Also
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, they put the responsibilities completely on parents as they have to monitor their children
while
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they play electronic
games
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or watch certain
movies
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.
To sum up
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, I totally agree with the first view,
that
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which
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calls for applying
censor
Replace the word
censorship
on
movies
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and computer
games
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containing
violences
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violence
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to protect the
community
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from their significant
harms
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harms,
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especially if they are open access and
has
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have
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no
any
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apply
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age restrictions.

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task response
Answer both sides in a more even way. Your view is clear, but the second side is shorter and less full.
task response
Add one clear example for each side. This will make your ideas stronger and easier to trust.
task response
Explain your main points more. Some ideas are stated, but not fully developed.
coherence and cohesion
Use clear topic sentences at the start of each body paragraph.
coherence and cohesion
Link ideas with simple words like first, also, however, and as a result, but do not overuse them.
coherence and cohesion
Make sure each sentence connects clearly to the one before it. A few parts feel unclear or repeated.
task response
You answered both views and gave your own opinion.
coherence and cohesion
Your essay has a clear introduction, two body parts, and a conclusion.
task response
Your main position is easy to see from the start to the end.
Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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