IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

In some countries, owning home rather than renting one is very important for people. Why might be the case? Do you think this is a positive or negative situations?

✍️ Want to check your own essay?Get started →
Nowadays , many
people
Use synonyms
 discuss the issue of owning
Use synonyms
home
Correct article usage
a home
show examples
renting
Correct word choice
or renting
show examples
one
Use synonyms
 .
Whail
Use the right word
While
show examples
 some
people
Use synonyms
 believe that owning
Use synonyms
home
Correct article usage
a home
show examples
 is more important than
Use synonyms
rent
Wrong verb form
renting
show examples
one
Use synonyms
 .Others argue that renting a
home
Use synonyms
 is better
then
Linking Words
 own
one
Use synonyms
 .
These
Fix the agreement mistake
This
show examples
 essay will discuss the case that posh
people
Use synonyms
 to
rent
Use synonyms
 or own a
house
Use synonyms
 and the positive and
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
negative situations. First of all ,
one
Use synonyms
 important point is that some
people
Use synonyms
 think that owning
Use synonyms
home
Correct article usage
a home
show examples
 is
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
so important for many reasons .
For example
Linking Words
 , if you own your
house
Use synonyms
 u can change what ever whanevan you want without someones execuse .
As a result
Linking Words
 , u can change your room decoration
or
Punctuation problem
, or
show examples
 you can add a new room.
Therefore
Linking Words
 ,
it is clear that
Linking Words
 owning
Use synonyms
house
Correct article usage
a house
show examples
 is
way
Rephrase
more
show examples
 important
Linking Words
then
Use the right word
than
show examples
 renting
one
Use synonyms
 .
On the other hand
Linking Words
 , another important point is that owning
Use synonyms
house
Correct article usage
a house
show examples
 is mostly
positive
Correct article usage
a positive
show examples
 situation. In
anothar
Correct your spelling
other
 words ,thare is a negative points
.
Punctuation problem
. For
show examples
for instance
Linking Words
 , owning a
house
Use synonyms
 would cost alot but u can stay as long as you want in your own
house
Use synonyms
.
This
Linking Words
 can lead to
be
Wrong verb form
being
show examples
 relaxed in your own
house
Use synonyms
and
Punctuation problem
, and
show examples
also
Linking Words
 you can invite whoever you want without
no ones
Check wording
anyone's
show examples
 promotion.
Linking Words
Therefore
Punctuation problem
Therefore,
show examples
 there
is
Correct subject-verb agreement
are
show examples
 negative and positive sides
when
Change preposition
to
show examples
 owning
Use synonyms
home
Correct article usage
a home
show examples
Linking Words
however
Punctuation problem
; however
show examples
 mostly points are positive.
in coclusion
Correct your spelling
In conclusion
, after
concidering
Correct your spelling
considering
 the main points, owning
Use synonyms
house
Correct article usage
a house
show examples
 is
such
Linking Words
 a good desion it will give you privecy and you will feel free to
chang
Correct your spelling
change
 and replace whatever you want.
Although
Linking Words
opposite
Correct article usage
the opposite
show examples
 side may have some value, some
peole
Correct your spelling
people
 can not
aford
Correct your spelling
afford
 money to buy a new
house
Use synonyms
so
Punctuation problem
, so
show examples
 the rather
rent
Use synonyms
one
Use synonyms
.
Use synonyms
people
Capitalize the word
People
show examples
 who can own
Use synonyms
house
Correct article usage
a house
show examples
 should own
one
Use synonyms
and
Punctuation problem
, and
show examples
people
Use synonyms
 who can buy
Use synonyms
house
Correct article usage
a house
show examples
 should
rent
Use synonyms
one
Use synonyms
.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task response
Answer both parts more clearly: say why people want to own a home, and say if you think this is more positive or more negative.
coherence and cohesion
Keep your main idea clear in each body part. Start the paragraph with one clear point, then explain it.
task response
Use simple examples that directly support your point. For example, talk about freedom, safety, or long-term cost.
coherence and cohesion
Link ideas with simple words like first, also, however, and in conclusion. This will help the essay flow better.
task response
Do not change your position at the end. Your final view should stay the same from start to finish.
coherence and cohesion
Make each paragraph about one main point only. This will make the essay easier to follow.
coherence and cohesion
You wrote an introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion.
task response
You gave some reasons for owning a home, such as freedom to change the house.
task response
Your opinion is mostly clear: you think owning a home is mainly positive.
Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: