The bar chart below shows the number of employed persons by job type and sex for Australia last year Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

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The bar chart below shows the number of employed persons by job type and sex for Australia last year Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
IELTS Writing Task Chart for The bar chart below shows the number of employed persons by job type and sex for Australia last year Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
The Chart compares the number of employed persons by two categories , namely
job
Use synonyms
type
Use synonyms
and gender , in Australia
last
Linking Words
year.
Overall
Linking Words
,
men
Use synonyms
were the most employed in every
job
Use synonyms
type
Use synonyms
except professionals and clerical.
In addition
Linking Words
, most
men
Use synonyms
were tradespeople
while
Linking Words
,
Punctuation problem
apply
show examples
the majority of female female clerical. In detail, the majority of male was tradespeople with 900, followed by clerical , which attracted a smaller number of
men
Use synonyms
with around 870 .
However
Linking Words
, the least common
job
Use synonyms
among
men
Use synonyms
is labourers
with
Punctuation problem
, with
show examples
only 400.
Additionally
Linking Words
,
men
Use synonyms
were
also
Linking Words
the leaders by far in some minors jobs
type
Use synonyms
such
Linking Words
as managers, semi-professionals, labourers
and
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
, and production, with a minimum margin of 125.
clerical
Capitalize the word
Clerical
show examples
showed the highest percentage of women , almost 1000,
along with
Linking Words
professionals
Replace the word
professional
job
Use synonyms
Use synonyms
type
Check wording
types
show examples
, which attracted a much smaller number of females, accounting for 700. Compared to clerical, tradespeople and production
job
Use synonyms
types showed the lowest percentage of women, with only 100 for both types of jobs.

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
Vocabulary: Replace the words job, type, men with synonyms.
Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "number of" in your introduction.
Vocabulary: The word "compares" was used 2 times.
Vocabulary: The word "showed" was used 2 times.
Vocabulary: The word "number of" was used 3 times.
Vocabulary: The word "percentage" was used 2 times.
Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the second paragraph.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • Employment figures
  • Sectors
  • Significant disparities
  • Gender balance
  • Skewed
  • Trends
  • Patterns
  • Dominant
  • Inferred
  • Labor market
  • Year-on-year comparison
  • Insights
  • Implications
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