IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 3

Although modern technology has made international communication very easy, many businesspeople still travel long distances for business meetings. Do the advantages of face-to-face meetings outweigh the disadvantages?

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In spite of the fact that modern technology has made communication from different countries very convenient, many
people
Use synonyms
 from the business industry still travel long distances for business meetings.
This
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 essay will discuss the advantages and drawbacks. In my opinion disatvantages outweigh the beneficial sides. Regarding positive sides,
nowadays
Punctuation problem
nowadays,
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 developers have created many
platforms
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 for communicating with
people
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.Many developers create daily
platforms
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 for chatting and talking ,
such
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 as WhatsApp
,
Correct word choice
and
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 Telegram,
while
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 the other half
developed
Wrong verb form
develop
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 serious and fee-based applications for secure calls and conferences.The first advantage of
this
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 trend is that
people
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 save fuel.
For example
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, many successful
people
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 travel by car and that waste of fuel and money.
People
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 can
make
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hold
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 conferences
in
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on
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 Zoom, Skype, and some online
platforms
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. Turning to negative sides,
people
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 living in 21th century should use developed techniques,
such
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 as
high-developed translate
Replace the word
highly developed translation
, artificial intelligence and
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, much
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much more
Rephrase
most
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 importantly, online communication.First of all, young businessmen can not understand your point of view for meeting
face
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 to
face
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due to
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fact
Correct article usage
the fact
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 that many
people
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 have already started using online
platforms
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.Another drawback of
this
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 trend is that your business partner or other businessman can think that you are out-dated person,
while
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 some retired
people
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 prefer to meet
face
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 to
face
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 for better
understand
Replace the word
understanding
 each other. In conclusion,
this
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 trend outweighs its drawbacks because of
high
Rephrase
highly
show examples
 developed
platforms
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 and creations connected with AI (artificial intelligence).Some
people
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 can not stand
face
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-to-
face
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 meetings.

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task response
Answer the main question clearly. You say the bad sides are stronger, but later you say the trend is good. Keep one clear view from start to end.
task response
Write about face-to-face meetings, not only online tools. Explain why in-person meetings may help trust, deals, or clear talk.
task response
Give fuller ideas. Some points are too short or not easy to understand.
task response
Use examples that directly support your point. Your fuel example is simple, but it needs more detail.
coherence and cohesion
Your essay has a clear start, body, and end, which is good.
coherence and cohesion
Use linking words carefully. Some parts jump too fast from one idea to another.
coherence and cohesion
Make each paragraph focus on one main idea and explain it well.
coherence and cohesion
Some sentences are hard to follow. Shorter and clearer sentences will help your meaning.
task response
You clearly introduce the topic in the first paragraph.
task response
You try to discuss both good and bad sides.
coherence and cohesion
You include a conclusion.
coherence and cohesion
You use some basic paragraphing.
Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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