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Writing Samples
Band 7

The graph shows the average Japanese month salary (yen) from 1970 to 2000, and prices of black and white televisions and color televisions during the same period.

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The given line graph illustrates the average
salary
Use synonyms
 in Japan between 1970 and 2000,
as well as
Linking Words
 the prices of black-and-white and colour
televisions
Use synonyms
 over the same period.
Overall
Linking Words
,
it is clear that
Linking Words
 the average
salary
Use synonyms
 increased steadily throughout the period,
whereas
Linking Words
 the prices of both types of
televisions
Use synonyms
 declined significantly.
In addition
Linking Words
, the average
salary
Use synonyms
 surpassed the price of black-and-white
televisions
Use synonyms
 in 1990 and that of colour
televisions
Use synonyms
 by 2000. In 1970, the average
salary
Use synonyms
 was 20
yen
Use synonyms
. It increased gradually until 1990. After that, it rose considerably from 30
yen
Use synonyms
 to 50
yen
Use synonyms
 between 1990 and 1995, before increasing sharply to 70
yen
Use synonyms
 by 2000. Regarding television prices, the price of black-and-white
televisions
Use synonyms
 fell dramatically from 110
yen
Use synonyms
 to 40
yen
Use synonyms
 between 1972 and 1978. It
then
Linking Words
 continued to decrease gradually, reaching 20
yen
Use synonyms
 by 2000.
Similarly
Linking Words
, the price of colour
televisions
Use synonyms
 dropped sharply from 100
yen
Use synonyms
 to 65
yen
Use synonyms
 between 1977 and 1984. After that, it declined steadily to 40
yen
Use synonyms
 by the end of the period.

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words salary, televisions, yen with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "undefined" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: The word "declined" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "increased" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "gradually" was used 2 times.
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