IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

Many people beleave that social networking sites such as facebook have a huge negative impact on indivisual and society. Do you agree or disagree?

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It is argued that social
media
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Linking Words
likewise
Punctuation problem
, likewise
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,
facebook
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 have a massive drawback on
person
Correct article usage
the person
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 and
community
Correct article usage
the community
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. I disagree with
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this
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these
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 points because it helps to grow
business
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 and
support
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to
Correct determiner usage
the
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 spread
awarness
Correct your spelling
of awareness
 among
people
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.
Firstly
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, social
media
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have
Correct subject-verb agreement
has
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 been one of the main sectors of
econonic
Correct your spelling
economic
 growth.
This
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 is because
,
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apply
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 it has features of advertising
product
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such
Linking Words
 as
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facebook
Capitalize the proper name
Facebook
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. It has more than millions user, if any
product
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 is
boost
Wrong verb form
boosted
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 on
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facebook
Capitalize the proper name
Facebook
show examples
, that
product
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 will
reachout
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reach out
 to millions of
people
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and
Punctuation problem
, and
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 they earn customers every single boost on
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facebook
Capitalize the proper name
Facebook
show examples
.
For example
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,
Tiktok
Capitalize the proper name
TikTok
show examples
 has been
on
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one
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 of the most popular
site
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sites
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 during covid epandamic, more than
thousand
Correct article usage
a thousand
show examples
people
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 earn from
tiktok
Capitalize the proper name
TikTok
show examples
 by doing online
business
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,
Correct word order
. Similarly,
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similarly
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 high investment
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business
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businesses
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 or manufacturing
company
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companies
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 choose
facebooks
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Facebook
while
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 promoting their
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product
Fix the agreement mistake
products
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 because of its huge number of
usure
Correct your spelling
users
.
Furthermore
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,
Sometime
Rephrase
sometimes
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 online play
essential
Correct article usage
an essential
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 role to spread awarness among
prople
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people
 by circulating news or alerting
some
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to some
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 incidents.
This
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 is because
,
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apply
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 the setting of social
media
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 is set in
such
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 a way
which
Correct pronoun usage
that it
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 highlights social realated news, so that many
people
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 watch. Currently, it has provided benefits to
people
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 by giving excessive information about the incidents that has happend in one
cornor
Correct your spelling
corner
 and
collect
Wrong verb form
collecting
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support
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 from all areas.
For instance
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,
Recently
Fix capitalization
recently
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 there
is
Wrong verb form
has been a
show examples
 trend of
studing
Correct your spelling
studying
 abroad. For that purpose, many student collects information
of
Change preposition
about
show examples
 any
states
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state
show examples
 by make connection with
people
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 who live
their
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there
show examples
 before they ariving their with the
helps
Check wording
help
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 of
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facebook
Capitalize the proper name
Facebook
show examples
, from which they find out the situation of that place and plan
accordingly
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. In conclusion, several
people
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 think social
media
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, like
facebook
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 have great negative effects on society and individuals
which
Punctuation problem
, which
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i completly
Correct your spelling
I completely
 disagree
because
Change preposition
with because
show examples
 it
support
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 to increase
business
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 and
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support
Correct subject-verb agreement
supports
show examples
people
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while
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 making any decision.

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task response
Answer the question more directly in each body part. Keep showing why you disagree.
task response
Explain your main ideas more. Some points are good, but they need deeper support.
task response
Use examples that are clear and easy to trust. Some examples now are not fully clear.
coherence and cohesion
Your essay has a clear start, middle, and end, which is good.
coherence and cohesion
Use linking words more carefully. Sometimes words like 'likewise' and 'furthermore' do not fit well.
coherence and cohesion
Make each sentence easier to follow. Some ideas are hard to connect because of grammar and word choice.
task response
You clearly give your opinion in the introduction and conclusion.
task response
You include two main reasons for your view: business growth and sharing awareness.
coherence and cohesion
Your essay has clear paragraphs, and each paragraph has one main idea.
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