IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 3.5

Some people say that advertising is extremely successful at persuading us to buy things. Other people think that advertising is so common that we no longer pay attention to it. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

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In these
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These
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 days, advertising and public relation has become a powerful tool. Some
people
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 claim that it is highly effective in encouraging
people
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 to purchase goods and
products
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products,
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while
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 the tactics for these promotions are seen everywhere, so we wouldn’t need
pay
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to pay
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 attention to them anymore. From my point of view, I partially agree with both views, because both opinions are relevant in
the
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apply
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real-world situations. On
one
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 hand,
people
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 buy a lot of unnecessary things and are becoming excessive
consumerism
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consumers
 because advertising is everywhere and extremely nudging
people
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 directly or indirectly. It is appearing across digital
platforms-online
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platforms, online
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 shopping, touchscreen machines, delivery services, public spaces and traditional media for promoting products and services.
Moreover
Linking Words
, celebrity endorsement is
also
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one
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 kind of advertising, and it is
mental
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a mental
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 shortcut (something that helps us decide quickly) that helps
people
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 to buy uncertain times or make quick choices
.
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in uncertain times.
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People
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 are
impossible
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unable
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 to avoid advertising even
in
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at a
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one
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 glance.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, we have a lot of
times
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time
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 to
choice
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choose
 what we
necessary
Verb problem
need
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 to buy.
Although
Linking Words
 we can see everything
even
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, even
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 walking around the corner advertisement is there, it helps us to research which
one
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 is the best for us. We really need to use
theses
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these
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 advertisements as a chance
of making
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to make
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 us
to
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apply
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think twice before
purchase
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purchasing
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. In conclusion, advertising is neither extremely effective nor absolutely ignored. Creative advertising could
be encouraging
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encourage
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people
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for
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toward
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 excessive consumerism, but extensive and repetitive advertising tends to be overlooked.

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task response
Answer both sides more fully. You did this, but the second side is short.
task response
Give a clearer own view. Say exactly how much you agree and keep this same view all through the essay.
task response
Add one real and clear example for each main idea.
coherence cohesion
Make each body paragraph follow one clear plan: main idea, explain it, then give an example.
coherence cohesion
Use linking words more carefully. Some ideas jump too fast.
coherence cohesion
Check that each sentence connects clearly to the one before it.
task response
You answered both views and gave your own opinion.
coherence cohesion
Your essay has a clear start, body, and end.
coherence cohesion
The main topic stays the same through the essay.
Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • persuade
  • promote
  • attract
  • influence
  • impact
  • consumerism
  • commercialism
  • market
  • product
  • brand
  • endorsement
  • manipulative
  • saturated
  • overwhelmed
  • repetitive
  • distracting
  • irrelevant
  • exaggerated
  • misleading
  • desensitized
What to do next:
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