IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7

The charts below give information about a public library in a town called Little Chalfont. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

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The chart provides information on the transformation of the total number of
people
Use synonyms
 in New York City
within
Change preposition
over
show examples
 200 years in the districts
Manhattan
Change preposition
of Manhattan
show examples
, Brooklyn, Bronx, Queens and Staten Island.
Overall
Linking Words
, the
population
Use synonyms
 grew continuously.
Satrting
Correct your spelling
Starting
 off at 79216, it increased to 3,437,202
Linking Words
then
Punctuation problem
, then
show examples
 rose to 8,009,185 in the early 2000s. In Manhattan, the fraction
it took over
Change preposition
of
show examples
 the total
population
Use synonyms
 fluctuated as time went by. In 1800, it stood at 76% and an
estimate of
Replace the word
estimated
 60,500
people
Use synonyms
. It
then
Linking Words
 grew to
at
Correct determiner usage
a
show examples
 rate of 54% and around 1.9 million individuals, a hundred years later.
However
Linking Words
, there was a sudden drop to 19% to approximately 1.5 m
people
Use synonyms
 in the year 2000. In the other 4 districts, the proportion as a percentile of the whole
population
Use synonyms
 increased from 24% (around 19 thousand
people
Use synonyms
) in 1800 to 46% (1.5 million) in a century.
Then
Linking Words
, it
further
Linking Words
 rose to 81% (around 6.4m individuals) in 2000. In conclusion, in New York City, the
population
Use synonyms
 had exponentially increased in the span of 2 century.

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words people, population with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "information" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: The word "increased" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "around" was used 3 times.
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Topic Vocabulary:
  • overall
  • in general
  • the most
  • the least
  • higher
  • lower
  • rise
  • fall
  • increase
  • drop
  • share
  • number
  • rate
  • group
  • age
  • men
  • women
  • books
  • children
  • adult
  • more than
  • less than
  • about the same
  • compared with
  • while
  • whereas
  • accounted for
  • made up
  • remained stable
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