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Writing Samples
Band 4.5

The graph shows estimated oil production capacity for several Gulf countries between 1990 and 2010.

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The bar chart demonstrates approximate
oil
Use synonyms
production
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 volume for some
Gulf
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countries
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namely
Punctuation problem
, namely
show examples
 Iran,
Iraq
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, Kuwait,
Qatar
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,
Saudi
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Arabia
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, and
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UAE
Correct article usage
the UAE
show examples
in
Punctuation problem
, in
show examples
 a span of 10 years. It is crystal clear that each of the
countries
Use synonyms
 had an increase in
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
capacity
with
Punctuation problem
, with
show examples
 the exception of
Qatar
Use synonyms
. It is
also
Linking Words
 obvious that
Saudi
Use synonyms
Arabia
Use synonyms
 was always the first in
production
Use synonyms
with
Punctuation problem
, with
show examples
 a huge difference among the other
Gulf
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countries
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.
Initially
Linking Words
,
Iraq
Use synonyms
 and
UAE
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 produced over 2
million
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barrels
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Linking Words
while
Punctuation problem
, while
show examples
 the
production
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 of Iran was 3
million
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, meanwhile
Correct word order
; meanwhile,
show examples
 Kuwait and
Qatar
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 made less than 2
million
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barrels
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.
Saudi
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Arabia
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 was the top country with
oil
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production
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 capacity
with
Punctuation problem
, with
show examples
 over 8
million
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barrels
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which
Punctuation problem
, which
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 would approximately be
the
Correct article usage
apply
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quadruple the amount of
oil
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 produced by
Iraq
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. After a decade,
production
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 rose in all
Gulf
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countries
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 except
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UAE
Correct article usage
the UAE
show examples
, where the daily amount of
oil
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production
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 remained stable. In 2005, in spite of its stable history
UAE
Use synonyms
 was able to grow,
while
Linking Words
Qatar
Use synonyms
 had a drop in
numbers
Punctuation problem
numbers,
show examples
whereas
Linking Words
 the remaining
countries
Use synonyms
 maintained their stable increase rate.
Linking Words
Finally
Add a comma
Finally,
show examples
 in 2010, Iran produced more than 4
million
Use synonyms
barrels
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,
Punctuation problem
;
show examples
Iraq
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, Kuwait and
Qatar
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 produced less than 4
million
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barrels
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. As
the
Change preposition
in the
show examples
 previous year,
Qatar
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 remained stable by producing under 2
million
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barrels
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while
Linking Words
Saudi
Use synonyms
Arabia
Use synonyms
 skyrocketed in
production
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, making 15
million
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barrels
Use synonyms
which
Punctuation problem
, which
show examples
 would set the record of
oil
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production
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 among
Gulf
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countries
Use synonyms
 from 1990 to 2010

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "while".
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Introduction: The introduction is missing.
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Introduction: Change the first sentence in the introduction.
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Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
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Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words oil, production, gulf, countries, iraq, qatar, saudi, arabia, uae, million, barrels with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "undefined" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: The word "amount" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "increase" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "remained" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "stable" was used 4 times.
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