Many children today are overweight and suffer from obesity. This is a serious health problem. Give the reasons for child obesity and give solutions to fix this problem.

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Child
obesity
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is becoming one of the biggest problems in the present time.
This
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is a serious health
problem
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which is getting worse.
This
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essay will examine the reasons for child
obesity
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and solutions to fix
this
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problem
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. On the one hand, there are several reasons for child
obesity
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.
Firstly
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, fast
food
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is one of the main factors. Street
food
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includes large amounts of fats,
food
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colours, calories and chemicals. Nowadays, all the malls have
food
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courts which employ these restaurants.
this
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type of
food
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.
Second,
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the internet makes ordering junk
food
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much easier. All mobile devices have multiple meal applications that
delivers
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deliver
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in minutes. That allows young people to order these unhealthy meals around the clock.
Finally
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, lack of exercise is a major reason for
this
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problem
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. Exercise helps to burn many calories and build muscles.
This
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contributes to a healthy and confident body.
However
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,
on the other hand
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, there are multiple solutions for
this
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problem
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.
To begin
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with, eating healthy
food
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is super important,
helps
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as it helps
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your body to grow in the right way , which makes you live longer and healthier.
Moreover
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, there is
also
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another important solution for
this
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problem
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. Playing sports is not only for your body shape but
also
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your
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for your
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health and your safety. Many
children’s
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children
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nowadays are overweight and have many diseases as well , that’s all because of their wrong choices of setting in home and not being physically active. In the end, managing your kids' screen time is valuable , specially in their age. It makes them more active and star founding several things to do except eating. In conclusion, it’s clear to see that childhood
obesity
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is because of several key reasons.
However
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, there are a number of excellent solutions to address
this
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issue.

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task response
Score: 6. Your ideas are on topic, but some need more help. For example, explain how food apps lead to more eating, or give one short real-life example about a child eating fast food often.
task response
Make the solutions more direct. Say who should act: parents can cook more meals at home, schools can give more sport time, and the state can limit ads for junk food.
task response
Some points are too general. “Eating healthy food is important” is true, but say what food children should eat, such as fruit, vegetables, eggs, and home-cooked meals.
coherence and cohesion
Score: 6. Keep one main idea in each paragraph. In the solutions paragraph, screen time comes at the end, but it needs a clearer link to exercise and less sitting.
coherence and cohesion
Use links in a more natural way. Do not use both “However” and “on the other hand” at the start of the same paragraph. One is enough.
coherence and cohesion
Some sentences are hard to follow. For example, “all the malls have food courts which employ these restaurants” is not clear. Write: “Many malls have food courts that sell fast food.”
coherence and cohesion
Check small word errors that can stop the flow: “this” should start with a capital letter; “applications that delivers” should be “applications that deliver”; and “star founding” is not clear. Write: “start finding” or “find”.
task response
You answer both parts: causes and ways to help. Your main ideas are clear: fast food, easy food orders, and little exercise.
task response
You give a clear start and end. This helps the reader know what your essay is about.
coherence and cohesion
Your essay has clear parts: an introduction, causes, solutions, and a conclusion.
coherence and cohesion
You use linking words such as “Firstly”, “Finally”, “However”, and “Moreover”. These help the flow.
Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example
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