Cases of bullying in school are increasing and worsening. What do you think are the cause of this? How can we tackle this issue?

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Bullying in
education institutes
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educational institutions
plays
in
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apply
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a detrimental role in
pupils
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pupils'
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growth. In the modern society where digital technology is significantly advanced,
this
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issue has gradually occurred, developing the considerable problem. Primarily,
Rising
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the rise
and
deteriorating
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decline
of
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this
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apply
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bullying is especially associated with social
applications
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nowadays. To address
this
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, the author suggests that government regulation should be wielded
to
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over
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these
companies
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.
To begin
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with,
definition
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a definition
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,
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of
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why school bullying is surging and worsening now
,
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apply
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is essential. Back in the day, it
also
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existed.
However
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,
this
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bullying was limited to face-to-face crime.
In other words
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, if a victim can be separated from
bully
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the bully
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, it was tackled. Currently,
due to
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usage
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the usage
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of several social
applications
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such
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as Facebook and Instagram
bullies
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, bullies
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are able to bother the victim not only offline but
also
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online. On
the
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apply
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top of that, these online environments
are
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do
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not rely upon limitations of area and time. In
this
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context, bullies are prone to harass others easily and frequently more using
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this
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these
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applications
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during and after school classes.
Consequently
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, social
applications
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has
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have
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led to
increase
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an increase
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and
worsen
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worsening
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. To handle
this
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problem, it is a lucid fact that the government have to regulate the social
companies
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. Generally,
discipline
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the discipline
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of cyber-bullying is challenging
in house
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in-house
.
This
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is because parents can not be fully aware of
using
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the
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history of pupils in social apps,
due to
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privacy
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the privacy
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policies of
apps
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the apps
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.
Additionally
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, these
companies
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are
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apply
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tend to focus on
this
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usage traffic rather than maintenance of safety environments. In
this
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context, several regulations
such
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as
prohibition
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the prohibition
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of swear words in messages and
ban
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the ban
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of inappropriate users should be implemented by these
companies
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, and the authority
have
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has
show examples
to make
relative
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relevant
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policies in order to regulate these. In conclusion, the rising and deteriorating bullying is a considerable debate currently. It is mainly caused by usage of social apps. To resolve
this
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issue, the appropriate policies, which regulate the
companies
Use synonyms
, have to be made by officials so that school bullying can be reduced and alleviated.

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task response
Score: 5. Your answer is on the topic, but it is too narrow. You give only one main cause: social apps. Add one more cause, such as poor care from parents, weak school rules, or group pressure.
task response
Explain each idea more fully. For example, say how a child may copy cruel acts from others online, or why a school may fail to stop repeat bullying.
task response
Your solution is mainly about the government and app companies. Add clear jobs for schools and parents too. For example, schools can have safe ways to report bullying and quick help for both the child harmed and the child who bullies.
task response
Use a real or clear example. For example: a student gets hurtful posts at night, so the bullying does not stop when the school day ends.
coherence and cohesion
Score: 5. The main order is good, but some parts are hard to follow. Start each body part with one short, clear main sentence.
coherence and cohesion
Do not use unclear phrases like "definition, why school bullying is surging and worsening now, is essential". Say: "One main cause is the rise of social media."
coherence and cohesion
Use simple links only when they show a clear change: "First", "For example", "As a result", and "Also". Some links now sound too formal or do not fit the sentence.
coherence and cohesion
Make the ending short and direct. Restate the causes and solutions in two clear sentences.
task response
You answer both parts of the question: you give a cause and a way to deal with it.
task response
Your main idea is clear: social apps can make bullying happen at school and at home.
coherence and cohesion
The essay has a clear start, two main body parts, and an ending.
coherence and cohesion
You use some linking words, such as "However", "Currently", "Additionally", and "Consequently".
Your opinion

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