IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 1

Nowdays, some parents pressure their children to be successful. What are the reasons of this? is this a positive or a negative development?

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Firstly
Linking Words
, pressuring children in order for them to be successful has been a common thing over the years
Linking Words
This
Punctuation problem
. This
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 is mostly projecting what they wished they had
like
Punctuation problem
, like
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 guidance when they were young
or
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, or
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 simply to achieve something through their children that they couldn't
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due
Verb problem
do due
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 to unfortunate circumstances.
Secondly
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, whether
this
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 is a positive or a negative influence on the
childs
Check wording
child's
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 development depends on what
this
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 pressure is. If
its
Verb problem
it's
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 hindering or stopping a child from choosing something they are sure of just to satisfy their
parents
Punctuation problem
parents,
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then
Linking Words
 it is
defintely
Correct your spelling
definitely
 a negative
affect
Use the right word
effect
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, but if
its
Verb problem
it's
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 guidance in good will and them watching out for their child
its
Punctuation problem
, its
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 defintely postitive. It relies on the intention and
what
Correct determiner usage
the
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 type of pressure.

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task response
Answer both parts more fully. Give two clear reasons why parents put pressure on children, then say clearly if this is mainly good or bad.
task response
Your main idea is clear, but it needs more detail. Explain how parents may want a better life for their child, or may worry about school, work, and money.
task response
Add one simple example. For example, a parent may make a child study all day for tests, even when the child wants to play or choose a different job.
task response
Give a stronger final view. You say it can be good or bad, but you should say which side is more common or more important.
coherence and cohesion
Use a clear four-part plan: introduction, reasons, good and bad sides, and conclusion.
coherence and cohesion
Start each paragraph with one main point. Then add an explanation and an example before you move to the next point.
coherence and cohesion
Use simple link words such as 'First', 'Also', 'However', 'For example', and 'In the end' to make the ideas easier to follow.
coherence and cohesion
Do not put too many ideas in one long sentence. Shorter sentences will make your meaning clearer.
task response
You answer both questions: you give reasons for the pressure and discuss if it is good or bad.
task response
You have a useful main point: pressure can be good when it is kind guidance, but bad when it stops a child from making choices.
coherence and cohesion
The essay has a basic order. You use 'Firstly' for reasons and 'Secondly' for the good and bad side.
coherence and cohesion
The second paragraph has a clear contrast between harmful pressure and helpful guidance.
Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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