IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 2.5

Today many people choose to eat their meals at fast food restaurants. Give the advantages and disadvantages of eating at fast food restaurants.

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Nowadays, many
people
Use synonyms
use
Verb problem
like
show examples
 to eat their meals at fast
food
Use synonyms
 restaurants.
This
Linking Words
 essay will discuss both
advantages
Correct article usage
the advantages
show examples
 and drawbacks of
this
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 development. On the one hand, eating fast
food
Use synonyms
 is the most convenient way to have
dish
Correct article usage
a dish
show examples
.
This
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 is because of
cost
Correct article usage
the cost
show examples
 and fast
preparing
Replace the word
preparation
.
For example
Linking Words
, most
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
people
Use synonyms
 hate waiting for their meal
Linking Words
due to most of
Correct word choice
because they
show examples
people
Use synonyms
 get angry and
annoying
Verb problem
are annoying
show examples
.
However
Linking Words
,
people
Use synonyms
 can easily use delivery services for fast
food
Use synonyms
,
while
Linking Words
 preparing
at
Check wording
food at
show examples
 home takes too much
time
Use synonyms
.
Therefore
Linking Words
,
major
Correct article usage
the major
show examples
 benefit of having fast
food
Use synonyms
 is
time
Use synonyms
 and price.
On the other hand
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, eating fast
food
Use synonyms
 frequently can lead to health issues.Primarily, that can lead to
over weight
Replace the word
being overweight
 and heart problems.The reason is because of old oil that most
restaurant
Fix the agreement mistake
restaurants
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 prepare dishes in.
For example
Linking Words
, using new oil
always can
Correct word order
can always
show examples
 affect
on
Change preposition
apply
show examples
service
time
Use synonyms
 and
also
Linking Words
 price.
Additionally
Linking Words
, that can damage
client
Correct article usage
the client
show examples
 base of most fast
food
Use synonyms
 restaurants.
Consequently
Linking Words
,
this
Linking Words
 can lead to serious health issues. In conclusion,
while
Linking Words
 eating fast
food
Use synonyms
 has certain
disatvantages
Correct your spelling
disadvantages
such
Linking Words
 as
affect
Replace the word
an effect
 on
Use synonyms
people
Check wording
people's
show examples
 health, the benefits like
time
Use synonyms
 and cost do not exist.

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task response
Overall score: 5. Your ideas are on the right topic, but some points need more clear support. For example, explain how low cost helps people, and give one real example.
task response
Keep your view the same in the ending. You say fast food has good points in the body, but the last line says the benefits “do not exist”. This does not match your essay.
task response
Make the bad point more clear. Say that fast food may have much fat, salt, and sugar. Do not focus on old oil only, as this point is too narrow.
coherence and cohesion
Use one main idea in each paragraph. In the first body part, write first about saving time, then about low cost, with a short example for each.
coherence and cohesion
Some sentences are hard to follow because the same words are used again and again, such as “most of people”. Use short, direct sentences.
coherence and cohesion
Check links between ideas. “Additionally, that can damage client base” does not fit the health point. Remove it or explain it in a new paragraph.
coherence and cohesion
Use clear links: “First”, “Also”, “For example”, “As a result”. Do not use too many links if the ideas do not connect.
task response
You answer both parts: good points and bad points of fast food.
task response
You give clear main ideas: time and cost for good points, and health problems for bad points.
coherence and cohesion
The essay has a clear start, two main body parts, and an ending.
coherence and cohesion
You use some linking words, such as “On the one hand”, “For example”, and “In conclusion”.
Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

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