IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 3

some people belive that it is best to except a bad situation such as an unsatisfactory job or shortage of money. others argue that it is better to try and improve such situation. discuss both views and give your own oppinion.

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Some individuals think that it is best to
except
Use the right word
accept
show examples
 a bad situation
Linking Words
such
Punctuation problem
, such
show examples
 as an unsatisfactory job or
shortage
Correct article usage
a shortage
show examples
 of money,
while
Linking Words
other
Fix the agreement mistake
others
show examples
 discuss that it is better to try
and
Correct word choice
to
show examples
 improve
such
Linking Words
situation
Correct article usage
a situation
show examples
.
This
Linking Words
 essay will discuss both views.From my
prespective
Correct your spelling
perspective
,
i
Fix capitalization
I
show examples
 believe that
people
Use synonyms
 should improve
theirselves
Correct pronoun usage
themselves
show examples
 and find
solution
Check wording
solutions
show examples
 to
problems
Use synonyms
. On the one hand, there is
Use synonyms
opinion
Correct article usage
an opinion
show examples
 about they best way is
avoiding
Wrong verb form
to avoid
show examples
problems
Use synonyms
 in life.
Firstly
Linking Words
,
people
Use synonyms
 do not have any guarantee in life.
This
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 is because
,
Punctuation problem
apply
show examples
 some companies can be closed and employees do not have any fault.
Additionally
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,
this
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 can affect from financial issues in
company
Correct article usage
the company
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 or mental
problems
Use synonyms
 of head department.
For instance
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,
people
Use synonyms
 cannot avoid
such
Linking Words
problems
Use synonyms
 because they do not receive any guarantees from the company they are employed by.
Therefore
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,
this
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opinion
Use synonyms
supported
Verb problem
is supported
show examples
 by many individuals.
On the other hand
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,
Use synonyms
opinion
Check wording
opinions
show examples
 about
people
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 should improve and try better is really motivating for many
people
Use synonyms
.Primarily,
people
Use synonyms
 should search for better opportunities in life.
This
Linking Words
 is because
,
Punctuation problem
apply
show examples
 many
people
Use synonyms
 should work on
their self
Fix the agreement mistake
themselves
show examples
 and have always self-control.
For example
Linking Words
,
people
Use synonyms
 can study and get
new
Correct article usage
a new
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 qualification
for
Change preposition
to
show examples
 get
promote
Wrong verb form
promoted
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 in
job
Correct determiner usage
their job
show examples
.
Subsequently
Linking Words
,
this
Linking Words
opinion
Use synonyms
is lead
Wrong verb form
has led
show examples
 to improvement in many lives. In conclusion, I believe that
people
Use synonyms
 should
have
Verb problem
apply
show examples
improve on
theirselves
Correct pronoun usage
themselves
show examples
 every time,
while
Linking Words
excepting
Use the right word
accepting
show examples
problems
Use synonyms
 as it
possibe
Correct your spelling
is possible
also
Linking Words
 is a good way.

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task response
Score: 5. Your answer is on the topic, but some ideas are not clear. The first side should be about accepting a bad job or not having much money, not about avoiding problems.
task response
Make your own view stronger. Say clearly that people should try to make their life better, but they may need to accept some things for a short time.
task response
Give more full examples. For example, a worker can keep a job for now, save money, and look for a better job at the same time.
coherence and cohesion
Score: 5. Your main shape is good, but some sentences do not lead well to the next idea. Start each main part with one clear point, then give a reason and an example.
coherence and cohesion
Use fewer linking words when they do not fit. For example, “Therefore, this opinion supported by many individuals” does not show why people accept bad situations.
coherence and cohesion
Keep the same words for the two views. Use “accept a bad situation” for one side and “try to improve it” for the other side. This will make your writing easier to follow.
task response
You talk about both sides and give your own view.
task response
You use examples about work, money, and study.
coherence and cohesion
Your essay has an opening, two main parts, and an ending.
coherence and cohesion
You use linking words such as “Firstly”, “For example”, and “In conclusion”.
Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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