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Writing Samples
Band 7

The graph below shows radio and television audiences throughout the day in 1992.

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The line graph illustrates the listeners of
radio
Use synonyms
 and
television
Use synonyms
 during the
day
Use synonyms
 in the year of 1992 in the United Kingdom.
Overall
Linking Words
,
television
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 constitutes the largest entertainment visited
throughouth
Correct your spelling
throughout
 the
day
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.
However
Linking Words
, despite a slight increase in the
radio
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audience
Use synonyms
 in the morning, the
amount
Check wording
number
show examples
 of listeners
decrease
Correct subject-verb agreement
decreases
show examples
 during the afternoon.
Television
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audience
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 increases all over the
day
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, recording 0% of
visualizers
Check wording
viewers
show examples
 at 6:00 in the morning and climbing steadily, jumping to 15% at 2:00 pm until reaching a peak
audience
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 of nearly 45% of the population at night. Despite
this
Linking Words
 significant increase
on the
Change preposition
in
show examples
 viewers, it drops substantially to just over 0% during the early morning and
fluctuating
Wrong verb form
fluctuates
show examples
 during the
day
Use synonyms
.
In contrast
Linking Words
,
Radio
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 showed an early peak percentage of nearly 28% at the same time
than
Correct word choice
as
show examples
television
Use synonyms
's slight increase at 8:30 AM of just below 30% of the listeners. Despite
this
Linking Words
 early soar,
Radio
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audience
Use synonyms
 decreased slightly throughout the
day
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, reaching nearly 10% of the
audience
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 at 8:00 PM compared to the 80% of
television
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 viewers at that time of the
day
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.

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words radio, television, day, audience with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "undefined" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: The word "decrease" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "increase" was used 4 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "nearly" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "slight" was used 3 times.
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