IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

Some people believe that students should be grouped according to their academic ability, while others think that students with different levels of ability should be educated together. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

✍️ Want to check your own essay?Write on this topic →
There has been a debate on whether
should
Correct word order
students should
show examples
students
Use synonyms
 be
categorized
Change the spelling
categorised
show examples
according to
Linking Words
 their
ability
Use synonyms
 in
school
Use synonyms
.
This
Linking Words
 essay will discuss both perspectives and explain why I think
students
Use synonyms
 should learn together regardless of their academic performance. Admittedly, grouping
students
Use synonyms
 based on their academic performance can ensure each student receives a more accurate education that aligns
to
Change preposition
with
show examples
 their
ability
Use synonyms
, and it reduces the risk of one
influencing
Check wording
student influencing
show examples
others’
Correct determiner usage
another’s
show examples
 learning pace.
Teacher
Check wording
Teachers
show examples
 can tailor their teaching method to each group, slower its teaching pace or broaden
its
Fix the agreement mistake
their
show examples
 content based on different groups’ learning conditions.
Moreover
Linking Words
, it is less likely for those who have different academic abilities to impact each other.
For example
Linking Words
, when the teacher needs to slow down because some
students
Use synonyms
 in class cannot understand as fast as those who have better performances in
school
Use synonyms
, the learning progress of the whole class might be influenced.
While
Linking Words
 the grouping policy holds merits, I believe that
students
Use synonyms
 should still be educated together, despite some having different academic
Use synonyms
ability
Fix the agreement mistake
abilities
show examples
. Grouping
students
Use synonyms
 by their academic
ability
Use synonyms
 enhances the misconception that academic performances represent one’s value. Educating
students
Use synonyms
 together assures equal help and opportunities to all
students
Use synonyms
. The
school
Use synonyms
 inevitably offers the “smarter” group more resources and opportunities. Teachers and peers look up to the smarter groups and pay more attention to them.
This
Linking Words
 might make those in other groups feel inferior to the smarter ones
,
Punctuation problem
;
show examples
 some might even lose their confidence and value.
For example
Linking Words
, one of my friends was grouped in the “slower” class in high
school
Use synonyms
. She told me that when it comes to competitions or opportunities, the
school
Use synonyms
 always offered them to other groups in advance. As her friend, I saw her struggling with her sense of low self-esteem throughout her high
school
Use synonyms
 phase, despite she had many gifted talents in other aspects.
While
Linking Words
 grouping
students
Use synonyms
according to
Linking Words
 their academic performances might be beneficial to some people, I believe that educating all
students
Use synonyms
 together is fairer, and it can protect
students
Use synonyms
’ mental health.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task response
Overall score: 6. Your answer covers all parts of the question. To reach 7, explain more clearly why mixed classes can still help both fast and slow learners. For example, schools can give extra help in the same class.
task response
The first view is good, but the point about students affecting each other’s pace is said twice. Add one new reason instead, such as less stress for teachers or more work at the right level.
task response
Your main view is strong, but avoid saying schools will always give more help to the “smarter” group. This may not be true in every school. Say “may” or “can” give more help instead.
coherence and cohesion
Keep one main idea in each paragraph. In paragraph 2, first explain teaching at the right speed, then explain the class pace problem. Make the link between these two ideas clearer.
coherence and cohesion
Some linking words are used well, but use them with care. The last paragraph starts with “While”, but it is a conclusion. Start with “In conclusion” instead.
coherence and cohesion
Make your start more direct: “People disagree about whether schools should put students in groups by ability or teach them in mixed classes.” This is clearer than “There has been a debate on whether should students...”
task response
You discuss both sides and give a clear view: students should learn together.
task response
Your example about your friend is clear and helps show why mixed classes may be fairer.
coherence and cohesion
The essay has a clear four-part shape: start, first view, your view, and end.
coherence and cohesion
Words such as “Moreover”, “For example”, and “While” help the reader follow your ideas.
Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: