Some people believe that the fittest and strongest individuals and teams always success in sports. Others think that success in sports depends on mental attitudes. Discuss both views and give your opinions.
✍️ Want to check your own essay?Write on this topic → Introduction
The success in sports can be a result of good
mentally and physically. Some people believes its either one of them.
Body paragraph 1
Good fit and perfect
and boot camps can lead directly to winning. Some people
that
only willCorrect word order
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take to the
. Others
belivesCorrect subject-verb agreement
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that
and mond preperation as yoga
beforePunctuation problem
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the
will
leadsWrong verb form
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you there.
Body paragraph 2
In my opinion, giving yourself time to practice and prepare your inner peace
toChange preposition
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the game
notPunctuation problem
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losing yourself to high
practicePunctuation problem
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will lead you to the
.
Conclusion
, each individual differs from another
,Punctuation problem
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each has
itsFix the agreement mistake
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own way to get the
soPunctuation problem
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itsUse the right word
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more likely to do what suits you.
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Score: 5. Your main ideas are on the topic, but they are too short. Explain more clearly why strong bodies can help in sport and why the mind can help too.
Give one simple example for each view. For example, a runner needs strong legs, but also needs to stay calm near the end of a race.
Your own view is clear: both practice and inner peace matter. Say this in a stronger way and explain why one should not replace the other.
Score: 5. Put one full idea in each paragraph. Start with body strength, then mental strength, then your own view.
Use simple link words to show the flow: First, However, For example, In my view, and Finally.
Some lines are not clear, such as “only will take to the championship.” Write the full idea: “They believe that physical strength alone can lead to a championship.”
Your last paragraph repeats the idea of your view. Use it as a short ending that clearly says success needs both a fit body and a strong mind.
You talk about both body training and mental strength. You also give your own view.
Your essay has clear short parts: an opening, two views, your view, and an ending.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.