IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6

Some people think that all university students should study whatever they like. Others believe that they should only be allowed to study subjects that will be useful in the future, such as those related to science and technology.

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In a recent survey which was conducted in my country, it was found that sixty per cent of the individuals believe that all
university
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students
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 ought to participate in any course they are interested in.
However
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, forty% believe that
students
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 should only
study
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 subjects that are useful in the
future
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,
such
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 as those related to science and technology. In
this
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 essay, I will be discussing both views، , and I will state my opinion.
To begin
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 with my essay, many people think that the most crucial thing
while
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 choosing a major to
study
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 for their rest of their life they have to be interested in it because
this
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 will make them more professional and skilled in their own course at
university
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, despite the fact whether there will be positive outcome in the
future
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 or not it is enough for them that they can develop themselves
while
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 doing something they love. A very good example worth mentioning is when a friend of mine participated in the Art program at her
university
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,many
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. Many
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 people thought it was not a wise choice
but
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, but
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 she continued doing it , and eventually she became very famous and gained a huge number of financial rewards for her paintings.
On the other hand
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, some individuals believe that
university
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students
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 should only be allowed to
study
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 useful subjects
such
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 as science and technology in order to enhance people’s lives after many years from today. Studying
such
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 subjects in classes ought to develop
students
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’ way of solving problems , and not only that, but
also
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 to assist
students
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 in developing their skills to invent machines in the
future
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 to help the health sector in general. Another clear example is if a student graduated with a developed mindset,
this
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 would lead to great inventions ,
such
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 as machines that can assist doctors in doing surgeries or robots that can enhance technology.  From my perspective, I believe that everyone has the right to decide which type of courses they want to
study
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 in the
university
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.
However
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,
students
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 must be aware of what sort of program of studies would be useful in the
future
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. On balance, it is essential to participate in a useful course in any kind of way as long as it provides beneficial things to society. 

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task response
Estimated score: 5. Your ideas are relevant, but your final view is not fully clear. You say students should choose what they want, but then say they must choose a program useful in the future. State one clear view and keep it the same in the end.
task response
Do not use a survey in the start unless you can explain why it matters. It takes space and does not help you answer the question well. Start by saying that both views will be discussed and give your view.
task response
Develop each main point more. For example, explain how art can help people and society, not only how one friend became rich. Also explain why science and technology should be encouraged, but not forced on all students.
task response
Your last paragraph does not match your view well. “It is essential to participate in a useful course” sounds like you agree that only useful subjects should be studied. Write a short end that repeats your real view.
coherence and cohesion
Use shorter sentences. Some sentences are very long, so the main idea is hard to follow. Put one main idea in each sentence.
coherence and cohesion
Make topic sentences more direct. For example: “Those who support free choice believe students work better when they enjoy their subject.” Then explain and give an example.
coherence and cohesion
Use link words only when they fit. “To begin with my essay” is not natural. Use “On the one hand” for the first view and “On the other hand” for the second view.
coherence and cohesion
Keep the same words for key ideas. Use “subjects” or “courses” in a clear way. Too many different phrases, such as “major”, “course”, and “program”, can make the text less clear.
task response
You discuss both sides and give your own view. This answers the main parts of the question.
task response
Your art and science examples are clear and linked to your main ideas.
coherence and cohesion
Your essay has a clear start, two main body parts, your view, and an end.
coherence and cohesion
You use link words such as “However”, “On the other hand”, and “From my perspective” to show changes in ideas.
Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • foster
  • engagement
  • excel
  • innovative contributions
  • diversity in research
  • well-rounded education
  • broad perspectives
  • critical thinking skills
  • mental well-being
  • burnout
  • forced academic paths
  • job-ready
  • skills shortages
  • tech-driven economy
  • employment rates
  • changing job market
  • utilitarian subjects
  • aptitudes
  • wasting talent
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