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Writing Samples
Band 4.5

Some people think that exams are a good way of assessing a student's level. Other people believe that they put unnecessary pressure on young learner and tell us very little about their acutal ability. Discuss both sides and give your own opinion.

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Throughout
the
Correct article usage
apply
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history
Add a comma
history,
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 tutors have been using many methods during their classes to see their students’ ability
of
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in
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 their
subject
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. Some part of the people
believes
Correct subject-verb agreement
believe
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 that
exams
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 are essential
of
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for
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 seeing
pupil's
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pupils'
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 capacity,
while
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 others
support
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argue
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 that
it
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they
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 might give unnecessary pressure to kids and
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exams
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that exams
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 are not so necessary .
This
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 essay will demonstrate both
side
Fix the agreement mistake
sides
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 of the argument
and
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, and
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 in the
conclusion
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conclusion,
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 my opinion will be shared. On the one
side
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hand
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, most of the individuals agree that putting pupils to an
exam
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 is the easiest way to mark kids. Once looking at their perspective, using just
paper
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 and a pen within a quick time would
rather
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be better
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 than the other methods
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such
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, such
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 as letting them
a
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work on a
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group project let them to make a presentation in front of their peers. As an example,
in
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apply
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most of the universities in my country prefer to make just two
examples
Check wording
exams
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, a midterm and a final
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exams
Fix the agreement mistake
exam
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,
in
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for the
show examples
 whole semester. On the other side, some people believe that
exams
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 are non-essential and
it
Fix the agreement mistake
they
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 can possibly
a
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be a
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disadvantage to young learners in many ways.
Firstly
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, it is not
logically
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a logically
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 correct way to mark students within a limited time
while
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 their professors had taught them for months
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due
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, due
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 to
possibility
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the possibility
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of
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that
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 a student might be ill or having a bad day,
causes
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causing
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 him or her to get a lower score than his or her capacity.
Morover
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Moreover
, some
subject
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 are need more creativity
in
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; in
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 that case
letting
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, letting
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 kids
to
Wrong verb form
apply
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take an
exam
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 on
paper
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 is useless.
For instance
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,
music
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the music
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subject
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 does not need any
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paper based
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paper-based
exam
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however
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; however
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, some secondary schools or even primary schools
are
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apply
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require
paper
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 based
exam
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 for
this
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subject
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.
To sum up
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,
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paper based
Correct your spelling
paper-based
exams
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does
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do
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 not need to
refuse
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be refused
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 sharply
but
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, but
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 tutors need to update their marking styles. I can understand both of the arguments.
Nevertheless
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, I
also
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 agree
with
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that
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exams
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 are not so essential.

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task response
Overall score: 5. Your answer covers the full question, but your ideas need more clear support. Explain why exams are fast and fair, not only that they are easy to use.
task response
Make your own view more clear. Say early in the essay that exams can be useful, but they should be used with other ways of checking students.
task response
Develop each point with one simple reason and one clear example. For example, exams can check what each student knows, while group work can hide the work of one student.
task response
Your first example is not fully clear. “Two examples” should be “two exams”. Also explain why a midterm and a final exam are helpful.
coherence and cohesion
Use more natural links between ideas. For example: “One reason is that…”, “However…”, “As a result…”, and “For this reason…”.
coherence and cohesion
Keep one main idea in each paragraph. In body 2, first talk about stress and bad days. Then start a new paragraph, or use a clear link, for subjects that need creative work.
coherence and cohesion
Some long sentences are hard to follow. Write shorter sentences with a clear subject and verb. This will make your meaning easier to understand.
coherence and cohesion
In the ending, restate your view in a more direct way. For example: “In my view, exams should not be the only way to check students, because they can cause stress and cannot test all skills.”
task response
You discuss both views and give your own view at the end.
task response
Your examples about university tests and music are linked to the topic.
coherence and cohesion
The essay has a clear start, two main body parts, and an ending.
coherence and cohesion
You use clear signposts such as “On the one side”, “On the other side”, “Firstly”, and “To sum up”.
Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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