Some people say that in the digital age, theatres and cinemas are no longer important as people can watch all the entertainment they want online. Others argue that theatres and cinemas are still important both economically and culturally. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion. Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

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Linking Words
This
Correct determiner usage
The
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topic of
entertainment
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places no longer
lasts
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lasting
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has been controversial. Some
people
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believe that movie
entertainment
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will not exist soon,
whereas
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I agree with those who think that
entertainment
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venues are still important for
economic
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the economy
and culture. On the one hand,
It
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it
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is commonly
believe
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believed
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that old digital,
thretres
Correct your spelling
theatres
and cinemas are not
popular
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as popular
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as many years ago. One of the most reason is
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people
Correct word choice
that people
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are able to access
to
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apply
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movie streaming
plaforms
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platforms
, they pay for the subscriptions and watch movies or
tv
Capitalize the proper name
TV
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series at home. As the rusult, the
film
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innovetions
Correct your spelling
innovations
have suddenly replaced movies industry.
For example
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,
according to
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survey
Correct article usage
a survey
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conducted by
local
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the local
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film
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centre, in Rochester town, 60
percent
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per cent
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of
people
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in
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apply
show examples
increasingly like to watch TV shows and
films
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through
film
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throught streaming providers
such
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as Netflix, Stan, and many more because it is very convenient and accessible for them even on
smart phones
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smartphones
, laptops, and tablets.
On the other hand
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,
tranditional
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traditional
theatre is still playing
differently
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a
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major role. The
most
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main
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reason is that the latest
new
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apply
show examples
films
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always rely on theatres. Many fans of big
films
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such
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as The Lord of the
ring
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Rings
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and Harry Potter
, they
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apply
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love to spend time and support
to watch
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watching
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their
forvorite
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favourite
movies on a huge screen with many fandoms
and
Punctuation problem
, and
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many music
event
Fix the agreement mistake
events
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still have to be held in
entermain
Correct your spelling
entertainment
venues.
However
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, I strongly believe
,
Correct word choice
that
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this
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is the main evidence that theatres and cinemas are
importantly
Replace the word
important
parts of
film
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cultural
Replace the word
culture
. In conclusion, having
consider
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considered
show examples
both sides of
this
Linking Words
issue,
althought
Correct your spelling
although
people
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can access
to
Change preposition
apply
show examples
online
entermentain plaform
Correct your spelling
entertainment platforms
because it is easy and affordable to get in, I agree with those who think that
entertainment
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centres are still
recently
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apply
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crucial as artists need places to venue thier plays and
people
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still need
watch
Verb problem
to watch
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films
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on massvie screen.

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task response
Your main ideas need more detail. Explain more clearly how cinemas help the economy, for example by giving jobs to staff, food shops, and local businesses. Also explain how theatres help culture, for example by showing plays, music, and local stories.
task response
Some ideas do not fully answer the question. Do not say only that new films need theatres. Say why people choose cinemas even when they can watch at home: the big screen, sound, shared feeling, and events.
task response
Your first view is not fully clear. Say that online films are cheaper, easy to use, and can be watched at any time. Then give one simple example.
coherence and cohesion
Use a clearer plan: Paragraph 1: online viewing. Paragraph 2: economic and cultural value of cinemas and theatres. Paragraph 3: your opinion. Keep one main idea in each part.
coherence and cohesion
Use simple link words correctly: 'On the one hand', 'On the other hand', 'For example', 'As a result', and 'In conclusion'. Do not join many full ideas with only commas.
coherence and cohesion
Make each point follow this order: main idea, reason, example, result. This will make your writing more clear and connected.
task response
You talk about both views and give your own view. Your view is clear: theatres and cinemas are still important.
coherence and cohesion
Your essay has a clear start, two main body parts, and an ending. This makes it easy to follow.
task response
You give examples, such as Netflix and big films. These help show what you mean.
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