"Some people think that the best way to reduce crime is to give longer prison sentences. Others, however, believe there are better alternative ways of reducing crime. Discuss both views and give your own opinion."

✍️ Want to check your own essay?Write on this topic →
Some argue that the most
benefical
Correct your spelling
beneficial
way to reduce the crime percentage is by imposing
longer
Correct article usage
a longer
show examples
prison
Use synonyms
period
Use synonyms
.
others
Capitalize the word
Others
show examples
disagree with
this
Linking Words
idea and believe that using different
ways
Use synonyms
is much better for
redusing
Correct your spelling
reducing
the percentage.
Although
Linking Words
imposing
longer
Correct article usage
a longer
show examples
period
Use synonyms
is
Verb problem
apply
show examples
can be a
possiable sulotion
Correct your spelling
possible solution
for reducing the
craims
Correct your spelling
crimes
because the shorter
one
Use synonyms
did not solve it,I believe using
another
Correct determiner usage
other
show examples
ways
Use synonyms
to solve the problem is better because they work in many nations. Imposing
longer
Correct article usage
a longer
show examples
prison
Use synonyms
'
period
Use synonyms
can work becasue shorter
one
Use synonyms
did not work.Since lots of
criminals
Use synonyms
can
seeing
Wrong verb form
see that
show examples
the current
prison
Use synonyms
period
Use synonyms
is really hard
and
Punctuation problem
, and
show examples
they want to
go
Verb problem
get
show examples
out as soon as
possiable
Correct your spelling
possible
,
longer
Correct article usage
a longer
show examples
period
Use synonyms
will be very harsh for all
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
criminals
Use synonyms
and
Punctuation problem
, and
show examples
this
Linking Words
can reduce the
Use synonyms
criams
Check wording
crime
show examples
level.
For instance
Linking Words
,in
saudi
Capitalize the proper name
Saudi
show examples
Arabia
Add a comma
Arabia,
show examples
the panishment of salling draggs is about 15
years
Use synonyms
in
persion
Correct your spelling
prison
for the first time.
As a
Linking Words
result
Punctuation problem
result,
show examples
of the
Change preposition
apply
show examples
the percentage of
draggs crims
Correct your spelling
drug crimes
is much shorter compeiring with other
conturies
Correct your spelling
countries
.
However
Linking Words
,I do not agree with
this
Linking Words
opinion because there are better
ways
Use synonyms
to fix
this
Linking Words
problem. Using other
ways
Use synonyms
for reducing the
craims percantage
Correct your spelling
crime percentage
is more useful.Since longer
Use synonyms
years
Punctuation problem
years,
show examples
are did not make any change for the criminal himself, the criminal will go out and continue doing his
Use synonyms
criams
Correct your spelling
crimes
.
Linking Words
Therefore
Punctuation problem
Therefore,
show examples
it must
using
Wrong verb form
use
show examples
different
ways
Use synonyms
to solve the problem.
For example
Linking Words
,in
Nerway
Correct your spelling
Norway
, the government did lots of
offorts
Correct your spelling
efforts
to
rebulit
Correct your spelling
rebuild
the
criminals
Use synonyms
in prisons
untill
Correct your spelling
until
they finish their
panishment
Correct your spelling
punishment
period
Use synonyms
. The result was really viable
and
Punctuation problem
, and
show examples
the
Use synonyms
criams
Check wording
crime
show examples
levels in the country are
vely
Correct your spelling
very
low
compeiring
Correct your spelling
compared
with other nations.
Linking Words
Therefore
Punctuation problem
Therefore,
show examples
I support
this
Linking Words
viewpont
Correct your spelling
viewpoint
because it is
useful
Rephrase
more useful
show examples
than the
preivious
Correct your spelling
previous
one
Use synonyms
. In
conclution
Correct your spelling
conclusion
,
Linking Words
Although
Fix capitalization
although
show examples
imposing longer
years
Use synonyms
can be a
sulotionto
Correct your spelling
solution to
help with reducing the
Use synonyms
criams percantage
Correct your spelling
crime percentage
, I believe
is
Correct pronoun usage
it is
show examples
not the most useful
one
Use synonyms
and there are
more
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
better ones
like
Punctuation problem
, like
show examples
rebuilt
Wrong verb form
rebuilding
show examples
the
criminals
Use synonyms
during their
prison
Use synonyms
years
Use synonyms
.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task response
Overall score: 5. Your answer covers all parts of the question, but your ideas need to be more clear and fully explained.
task response
Explain why long prison time may stop crime. Do not only say short time did not work. Say that fear of a long time in prison may stop some people from doing crime.
task response
Your main view is good, but add more detail about other ways. For example: help people get work, give young people support, teach skills in prison, and help people after prison.
task response
Be careful with examples. The Saudi Arabia example needs a clear source or softer words, such as “For example, some countries use very long prison terms for drug crimes.”
coherence and cohesion
Make each body part follow one clear plan: main idea, reason, example, and short result. This will make your writing easier to follow.
coherence and cohesion
Some sentences are hard to follow because the meaning is not clear. For example, “Since longer years are did not make any change for the criminal himself” can be: “Long prison terms may not help a criminal change.”
coherence and cohesion
Do not repeat “crime percentage” many times. Use simple words like “crime”, “the crime rate”, or “the number of crimes”.
coherence and cohesion
Use fewer linking words when they do not show a clear link. “Therefore” should come after a clear reason and result.
coherence and cohesion
Your end is clear, but make it stronger by restating both sides before giving your final view.
task response
You discuss both sides and give your own view clearly: you support other ways, not only longer time in prison.
task response
You use examples from Saudi Arabia and Norway. This helps make your ideas more real.
coherence and cohesion
Your essay has a clear start, two body parts, and an end.
coherence and cohesion
You use linking words such as “Although”, “For instance”, “However”, “Therefore”, and “In conclusion”.
Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general
Topic Vocabulary:
  • deterrent
  • incapacitating
  • rehabilitation
  • recidivism
  • underlying issues
  • desperation
  • community service
  • mental health support
  • reintegration
  • prevention
  • offenders
  • punitive measures
  • support systems
What to do next:
Look at other essays: