IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

Millions of dollars spent on research every years. some people argues that the money should be spent of improving living standards on Earth. Do you agree or disagree

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Research has been developing over the years,
alot
Correct your spelling
a lot
 of governments and authorities invested huge
amount
Fix the agreement mistake
amounts
show examples
 of money in order to find more appropriate solutions and answers for
issued
Replace the word
issues
 and problems we are facing
and
Punctuation problem
, and
show examples
 we still do not have their answers yet. I think both
issue
Fix the agreement mistake
issues
show examples
 are related somehow
,
Punctuation problem
;
show examples
 if the scientists
figured
Wrong verb form
figure
show examples
 something out through their studies, in that
way
Add a comma
way,
show examples
 the stakeholders will try to improve
people
Use synonyms
's lives to make sure that they will not be affected by
this
Linking Words
 situation.
Covid-19
Capitalize the word
COVID-19
show examples
 is one of the most serious diseases that will explain my point of view
, when
Punctuation problem
. When
show examples
 the earth was facing
this
Linking Words
 infection, governments and health organisations invested
huge
Correct article usage
a huge
show examples
 amount of money to find out how we can beat
this
Linking Words
 disease
,
Punctuation problem
. Then
show examples
then
Linking Words
 they came up with the vaccine that will help
people
Use synonyms
 to recover faster, make the virus infection more impossible, in a way that can beat the virus.
Covid-19
Capitalize the word
COVID-19
show examples
 reflected
people
Use synonyms
's living standards on how they want everything
sanitized
Change the spelling
sanitised
show examples
,
they
Correct word choice
and they
show examples
 give each other personal space in queues or anywhere else crowded. In restaurants,
people
Use synonyms
now
Verb problem
are now
show examples
 demanding one-time use cutlery. In hotels, guests are asking for
disposal
Replace the word
disposable
 towels. In airports, passengers
wearing
Wrong verb form
wear
show examples
 masks. In these scenarios,
people
Use synonyms
's habits are changed,
nothing
Correct word choice
and nothing
show examples
 is the same in our daily life since Covid-19. So when
people
Use synonyms
 in interest spent money on getting the
vacine
Correct your spelling
vaccine
 to fight
this
Linking Words
 issue, they were putting some roles to reduce the risk of spreading the infection,
that
Fix the agreement mistake
those
show examples
 roles are the ones which reflected the privacy and cleanliness that
people
Use synonyms
now are
Correct word order
are now
show examples
 familiar
and
Change preposition
with and
show examples
 happy with.
To conclude
Linking Words
with
Change preposition
apply
show examples
, both research and living standards are crucial, and each of these factors is dependent on the other, so
i
Fix capitalization
I
show examples
 can not say that we can invest more in one and leave the other. I believe that it depends on what we are facing at the moment and
neads
Correct your spelling
needs
 more attention.

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task response
Overall score: 5. Your answer is on topic, but your view is not fully clear. The question asks if research money should be used for living standards on Earth. State clearly: “I disagree” or “I partly agree” in the first part.
task response
Explain what “research” means in this question. It may mean space research or other costly research. Your essay talks mainly about health research, which already helps living standards. This makes your main point less strong.
task response
Give two clear reasons for your view. For example, money for health, homes, clean water, and schools can help people now; but some research is still needed for future problems.
task response
Your Covid-19 example is good, but make the link to the question more direct. Say that medical research improved life, so research and living standards do not always compete.
coherence and cohesion
Use one main idea in each body part. Body 1 can explain why money should improve life now. Body 2 can explain why research is still important.
coherence and cohesion
Some ideas repeat or are not fully clear. For example, the part about cutlery, towels, and masks is long, but it does not strongly prove your main view. Make it shorter and explain the point.
coherence and cohesion
Use simple topic sentences. For example: “First, money should help people with basic needs.” Then give an example. “However, research can also save lives.” Then give the Covid-19 example.
coherence and cohesion
Your ending repeats that both are important, but it should give a firmer answer. Say how money should be shared and why.
task response
You give a clear main view: research and better living standards are linked, so both need money.
task response
The Covid-19 example is useful and on topic. It shows how research can help people’s lives.
coherence and cohesion
Your essay has a clear start, body parts, and an ending. The reader can follow the main order.
coherence and cohesion
You use links such as “then”, “so”, and “to conclude”, which help join your ideas.
Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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