IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

More and more people are working from home instead of going to an office. What are the advantages and disadvantages of this trend

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Introduction
Nowadays, a number of people are working from home
instead
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 of going to an office.The issue has both advantages and disadvantages
,
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.
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I think that the advantages outweigh the disadvantages.
This
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 essay will show both sides of the argument.
Body paragraph 1
On the one hand,the negative things in
this
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 matter are insignificant.One of the main drawbacks is that employees spend excessive time alone, so they won't be able to meet each other more often.
This
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 means that they have lower levels of social communication with their colleagues, which can have a negative impact on their mental well-being.
In addition
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,they might have technical issues with their laptop.
For example
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,having technical issues will affect the quality of their work.
As a result
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, the company's sales will drop dramatically.
Body paragraph 2
On the other hand
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,it has numerous advantages ,
such
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 as
,
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apply
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being able to work anywhere you want , on your couch,bed,or in your kitchen, it is up to you.One of the main benefits is that traffic will decrease on the streets.If
this
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 trend continues,it would be a giant improvement to the city and the company.
For instance
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,the city will have fewer cars and less traffic on the roads.
Therefore
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,air pollution will decrease dramatically , and the air will be fresh.
Conclusion
To conclude
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,
although
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 the issue has both pros and cons,I believe that the pros beat the cons.
Due to
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 the fact that the pros have a long-lasting impact on the city and the companies,particularly in terms of traffic congestion and households' financial situation.

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overall score
Score: 6. Your ideas are clear and the essay is easy to follow. To get a 7, give stronger support for each main point and make sure all ideas in the ending are explained in the body.
task response
Explain why working at home helps workers, not only the city. For example, workers can save time and money because they do not travel to work.
task response
Your point about laptop problems is possible, but the link to a big drop in company sales is too strong. Say that work may be slow or late instead.
task response
The ending mentions “households' financial situation”, but the body does not explain this. Add a point about saving travel costs, or remove it from the ending.
task response
Use more direct examples. For example: “A worker who travels one hour each day can use that time for work, rest, or family.”
coherence and cohesion
Keep one main idea in each paragraph. In the good-points paragraph, first discuss worker benefits, then discuss less traffic and cleaner air.
coherence and cohesion
Some sentences are very long. Split them into shorter sentences so the meaning is clearer. For example, say: “People can work in many places at home. They may work on the couch, in bed, or in the kitchen.”
coherence and cohesion
Use link words with care. “Therefore” is good before a result, but make sure the result comes from the idea just before it.
task response
You answer both parts of the question: good points and bad points of working from home.
task response
Your main view is clear: you think the good points are stronger than the bad points.
coherence and cohesion
The essay has a clear start, two main body parts, and an ending.
coherence and cohesion
You use clear link words, such as “On the one hand”, “On the other hand”, “For example”, and “To conclude”.
Word Count

IELTS says that you should write a minimum of 250 words in writing task 2. If you go under word count you will lose marks in task response.

A very long essay will not give you a higher band score.

Aim for between 260 to 290 words in writing task 2. This will ensure a concise essay and will be realistic in terms of time management. You have only 40 minutes to write the essay and you need around 10 minutes of planning time, so you will not be able to write a long essay in 30 minutes.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • work-life balance
  • productivity
  • commuting
  • flexibility
  • cost savings
  • remote work
  • office space
  • utilities
  • environmental benefits
  • carbon footprint
  • personal commitments
  • stress reduction
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