IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

Modern technology such as personal computers and the internet have made it possible for many people to do their work from home at least part of their work instead of going to an office everyday. What are some of the advantages and disadvantages of this situation?

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Modern technology
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such
Punctuation problem
, such
show examples
 as computers and the
internet
Punctuation problem
internet,
show examples
 has made it possible for people to
work
Use synonyms
 at
home
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instead
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 of travelling to the office
everyday
Rephrase
every day
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.
This
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 development offers benefits and
also
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 creates advantages for both
employees
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 and workers.
This
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 essay will examine both
benefits
Correct article usage
the benefits
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 and drawbacks of working from
home
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. One major advantage of working at
home
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 is that the workers can save
time
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 and
travelling cost
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travel costs
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,
it
Correct pronoun usage
which
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 gives more flexibility
on
Change preposition
in
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 working and managing their own
time
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.
This
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 extra
time
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 can be used for rest and exercise or family activities, which may improve
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work life-balance
Correct your spelling
work-life balance
. Many people can organise their
work
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 more freely and complete tasks in a comfortable environment.
In addition
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,
employees
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 may benefit because they can spend less money on office space, electricity and other workspace costs.
However
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, working from
home
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also
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 has some drawbacks. One problem is that
employees
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 may feel lonely because they have fewer chances to communicate with colleagues
face to face
Correct your spelling
face-to-face
.
This
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 may reduce teamwork and make it harder to share ideas.
In addition
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, some people may find it difficult to concentrate at
home
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 because of noise, family responsibility or other distractions. Another disadvantage is that the line between
work
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 and personal life becomes unclear. Some
employees
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 may continue working after normal hours, which can lead to stress and tiredness. In conclusion, working from
home
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 saves
time
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, reduces costs and provides greater flexibility.
Moreover
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, it may cause isolation, communication problems and difficulties in separating
work
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 from private life.
Therefore
Linking Words
working
Punctuation problem
, working
show examples
 from
home
Use synonyms
 is useful, but it should be managed carefully.

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task response
Score: 6. Your answer is on topic and covers both good and bad sides. To reach 7, explain each main idea more fully. For example, say how less travel time can help a parent, or how being alone can hurt team work.
task response
Use more real or clear examples. For example: “A worker may save two hours a day by not going to the office.” This makes your points stronger.
task response
Be careful with word choice. You write “creates advantages” after “offers benefits”. This should be “creates disadvantages” or “has drawbacks”.
coherence and cohesion
Score: 6. Your order is easy to follow: good points first, then bad points. Keep one main idea in each part, then add an explanation and an example.
coherence and cohesion
Some long sentences should be split. For example: “Workers can save time and travel costs. They also have more freedom to plan their day.” This is clearer.
coherence and cohesion
Use link words with care. In the final part, “Moreover” is not the best word before bad points. Use “However” or “On the other hand” instead.
task response
You answer both parts of the question: the good and bad sides of working from home.
task response
Your main ideas are clear: time and cost, freedom, being alone, home noise, and work time.
coherence and cohesion
The essay has a clear start, two main body parts, and an end.
coherence and cohesion
Words such as “However”, “In addition”, and “In conclusion” help the reader follow your ideas.
Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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