In Britain, when someone gets old they often go to live in a home with other old people where there are nurses to look after them. Sometimes the government has to pay for this care. Who do you think should pay for this care, the government or the family?

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Nowadays,
this
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issue has become increasingly important. People have different
opinion
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opinions
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about
this
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topic around the world
and
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, and
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it is important in modern society. In many
countryes
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countries
today, elderly people move into
specialized
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specialised
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care
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homes where trained nurses can look after them. A major question that arises is whether the financial
responsability
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responsibility
for
this
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care
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.
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lies.
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In
this
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essay will discuss both points of view before giving my opinion
Firstly
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, there are good reasons why the
gouverment
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government
should fund
care
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for the elderly. Seniour citizen have worked for many decades and contributed to society by paying taxes.
Therefore
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, professional
care
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homes can be extremely expensive. If the
gouverment
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government
does not provide financial aid, low-income families might suffer severe financial distress trying to pay for these services.
One
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On
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the other hand, families
also
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have personal
responsability
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responsibility
toward their older relatives. Parents spend a lot of time, money, and effort raising their children.
when
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When
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they grow old, it is reasonable to expect children to support their elderly parents financially if they have the means to do so. Relying entirely on the state could place a heavy burden on public
financrs
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finances
, which could lead to higher taxes for working people. In conclusion, both
view
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views
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have valid points
but
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, but
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this
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issue has both advantages and disadvantages.
In the
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Finally
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finally
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finally,
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it is important to find a balance between the two perspectives. I
belive
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believe
that paying for elderly
care
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should fully support those who cannot afford
care
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homes,
while
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families with sufficient income should contribute to the costs of looking after their elderly relatives. I

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task response
Score: 6. Your answer is clear and answers the question. To get 7 or more, make your own view more direct in the first part and keep the same view in the end.
task response
Give one short real-life example. For example, say how a family with low pay may not be able to pay for a care home.
task response
The last part says the state should fully help people who cannot pay, while families who can pay should help. This is a good view. Say it more clearly: the cost should be shared, based on how much a family can pay.
coherence and cohesion
Score: 6. Your order is easy to follow. However, the first part says you will discuss both views, but it does not clearly say your own view. Add one short line with your view.
coherence and cohesion
Make each main part follow the same plan: main point, why it is true, then one example. This will make your ideas stronger.
coherence and cohesion
Your end repeats “both views” and “advantages and disadvantages”. These words are not needed. End with one clear final answer instead.
coherence and cohesion
Check small link-word errors: write “On the other hand”, not “One the other hand”; write “In the end”, not “In the finally”.
task response
You talk about both sides and give your own view at the end.
task response
Your main ideas are on topic: state help, family duty, and help for people with little money.
coherence and cohesion
The essay has a clear start, two main parts, and an end.
coherence and cohesion
You use clear links such as “Firstly”, “Therefore”, and “On the other hand”.
Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • Aging population
  • Elderly care
  • Nursing homes
  • Social welfare
  • Intergenerational responsibility
  • Caregiving
  • Financial burden
  • Quality of life
  • Pension funds
  • Healthcare policy
  • Taxation
  • Subsidies
  • Private insurance
  • Long-term care
  • Sustainability
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