Some people think that national sports teams and individual men and women who represent their country should be financially supported by the government. However, others argue that they should be funded by non-government sources (e.g. Business, scholarship, etc.). Discuss both views and give your opinion.

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Some people argue that national games should be supported by the
government
Use synonyms
,
while
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others believe that they should be financially supported by the private
sectors
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sector
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, like businesses or by scholarships.In my opinion ,I strongly believe
government
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funding is more reliable than private funding.
This
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essay will discuss both views and state my opinion
at the end
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. On the one hand,
government
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funding is more crucial for the nation.
Firstly
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, if the nation
funds to
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invests in
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talented athletes, it carries a legacy for a lifetime.
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Also
Add a comma
Also,
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it helps
atheletes
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personal growth.
For instance
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,many talented people may
also
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from
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come from
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low-income families,they cannot afford expensive training and financial support,so they can receive professional coaching from the
funded
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funding
.
Secondly
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,these funding actions by givernment can attract
lot
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a lot
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athletes
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of athletes
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from the nation.
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this
Capitalize the proper name
This
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also
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boost
Correct subject-verb agreement
boosts
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sports in world level.
Therefore
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,
goverment
Correct your spelling
government
funding can bring more benefits to the sports. On the
hand
Correct determiner usage
one hand
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, even though
government
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funding is more beneficial for
Use synonyms
atheletes
Correct your spelling
athletes
,
but
Correct word choice
apply
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it indirectly affects the taxes of other public money.So, non-
government
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sources should fund them.Because private businesses
able
Verb problem
are able
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to provide more
sponsorhip
Replace the word
sponsorship
,equipment and marketing opportunities for successful
Use synonyms
atheletes
Correct your spelling
athletes
.
As a result
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, public money can
spend
Wrong verb form
be spent
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on essential needs
such
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as hospitals, schools and public transport.
Thus
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,
i
Fix capitalization
I
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believe
government
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funding is
primary
Replace the word
primarily
one
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along
Punctuation problem
, along
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with private organisations can support athletes. In my conclusion,
governemnet
Correct your spelling
government
should be a main source of funding
national
Change preposition
for national
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atheletes
Use synonyms
represent
country
Correct determiner usage
their country
show examples
and deserve equal rights.
However
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, private sponsorship
cabn
Correct your spelling
can
also
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be encouraged as additional support

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overall score
Estimated score: 5. Your main ideas are clear, but some points are not fully explained and there are many sentence and word form errors.
task response
Answer the exact question more directly. Explain why government money is better, but also explain clearly why business support can be useful.
task response
Develop each main point with a full chain: point, reason, example, result. For example, say how free training helps a poor athlete become able to play for the country.
task response
Your opinion changes a little. In one place you say government funding is more reliable, but later you say private groups should fund athletes. State one clear view: government money should be the main support, while private money is extra support.
task response
Use more exact examples. Instead of “many talented people”, write about a young athlete from a poor family who cannot pay for coaching, travel, or sports gear.
coherence and cohesion
Make each paragraph begin with one clear main idea. Paragraph 2 can be only about government support. Paragraph 3 can be only about private support.
coherence and cohesion
Some links are not clear. “On the hand” should be “On the other hand”. Also, do not use “even though ... but” in the same sentence. Choose one: “Although ...” or “..., but ...”.
coherence and cohesion
Avoid very long sentences joined only by commas. Use short, clear sentences. This will make your ideas easier to follow.
coherence and cohesion
Your conclusion should repeat your exact opinion in simple words: government support is the main source, and private support is an added help.
task response
You discuss both sides and give a clear opinion: the government should be the main source of money.
task response
You use a useful example about athletes from low-income families who need training.
coherence and cohesion
Your essay has an introduction, two main body parts, and a conclusion.
coherence and cohesion
You use some linking words, such as “Firstly”, “For instance”, “As a result”, and “However”.
Word Count

IELTS says that you should write a minimum of 250 words in writing task 2. If you go under word count you will lose marks in task response.

A very long essay will not give you a higher band score.

Aim for between 260 to 290 words in writing task 2. This will ensure a concise essay and will be realistic in terms of time management. You have only 40 minutes to write the essay and you need around 10 minutes of planning time, so you will not be able to write a long essay in 30 minutes.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • public funding
  • government subsidy
  • national sports team
  • elite athletes
  • represent their country
  • international competitions
  • equal opportunities
  • athletes from disadvantaged backgrounds
  • stable financial support
  • public services
  • taxpayers' money
  • private sponsorship
  • corporate investment
  • sports scholarships
  • commercial interests
  • marketing opportunities
  • less popular sports
  • financial burden
  • shared responsibility
  • long-term training
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