IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

In many countries, women and men are working full time. It is, therefore, logical for women and men to share household tasks. To what extent do you agreee or disagree?

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It is argued that
male
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males
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 and
famale
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females
 who work in a
full time
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full-time
 job should divide home taskes fairly.
In
Change preposition
From
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 my perspective, I think that helping and assisting each
others
Fix the agreement mistake
other
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 is the key
for
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to
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 a
succssful
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successful
 family and
happy
Correct article usage
a happy
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 life. Sharing
tasks
Use synonyms
 will lead to
have
Wrong verb form
having
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 an
orgnized
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organised
 house. To elaborate, both men and women spend
their
Correct determiner usage
apply
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most
time
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of their time
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in their
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at
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 work
and
Punctuation problem
, and
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this
Linking Words
 means that they do not have enough time to cook or clean .
Therefore
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, they will live in
unclean
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an unclean
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 house
and
Punctuation problem
, and
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this
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 will lead to
have
Verb problem
apply
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several problems between family members.
Moreover
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, they are going to order their food from
restarunts
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restaurants
instead
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 of
home made cook
Replace the word
homemade cooking
and
Punctuation problem
, and
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this
Linking Words
 is detremintal for health.
Thus
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, they should work as a team and
coobarate
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cooperate
 to
achive
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achieve
 the best results.
For example
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, in islamic
faith
Add a comma
faith,
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 every person should contribute
in
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to
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 the house
depite
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regardless of
 their gender. Children will be more
displined
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disciplined
 and
orgnized
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organised
. One
illustartion
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illustration
 that parents can provide some
tasks
Use synonyms
Linking Words
such
Punctuation problem
, such
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 as cleaning
for
Punctuation problem
, for
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 their kids
Punctuation problem
,
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and
this
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 is
benefical
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beneficial
 for them because
thay
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they
 will learn how to be
responsible
Correct article usage
a responsible
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 and independent person .
In addition
Linking Words
, parents could have a positive effect
in
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on
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 their child if they were working as a
comapny
Correct your spelling
company
.
For instance
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, children learn from their parents
so
Punctuation problem
, so
show examples
 they should show them that working as
group
Correct article usage
a group
show examples
 will enhance the family. In conclusion, dividing
tasks
Use synonyms
 between men and women will help them more.
However
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, on balance, I
beleive
Correct your spelling
believe
 that every single family should share household
tasks
Use synonyms
 as
their
Use the right word
there
show examples
 are a lot of mistaken
belevie
Correct your spelling
beliefs
 that conclude cooking for women only.

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task response
Overall score: 5. Your answer is on the topic and your view is clear. To get a 6 or 7, explain more clearly why sharing work is fair when both people work full time.
task response
Your second main idea is mostly about children doing tasks. This is useful, but the question is mainly about men and women. Add more about how both parents can share cooking, cleaning, shopping, and child care.
task response
Use examples that are more direct. For example: one person cooks while the other cleans, or they take turns during the week.
coherence and cohesion
Put one clear main idea at the start of each body part. Then explain it and give one example. This will make your ideas easier to follow.
coherence and cohesion
Some sentences are hard to follow because there are too many ideas in one sentence. Use shorter sentences. For example: 'Both parents work full time. They have less time at home. Therefore, they should share the work.'
coherence and cohesion
Your conclusion repeats your view, which is good. Make it stronger by restating the two main reasons: a fair home and a better family life.
task response
You give a clear view: men and women should share home work.
task response
You give two main ideas: a clean home and good learning for children.
coherence and cohesion
Your essay has an introduction, two main body parts, and a conclusion.
coherence and cohesion
You use linking words such as 'Therefore', 'Moreover', 'For example', and 'In conclusion'.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • share household tasks
  • full-time job
  • equal responsibility
  • fair division of work
  • daily chores
  • do the cooking
  • clean the house
  • wash the clothes
  • look after children
  • feel stressed
  • reduce pressure
  • work as a team
  • family life
  • spend time together
  • a sense of fairness
  • traditional view
  • gender role
  • mutual respect
  • divide tasks fairly
  • balance work and home
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