You have recently moved into a company accommodation and you are facing some issues at the place. Write a letter to your HR department. In the letter, mention: • A brief description of your accommodation. • What problems are you facing? • What do you expect the company to do about it?

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Dear Sir or Madam, On the 25th June, I moved house to one of our company's flats at the Backerstreet. I would like to report that I am facing some issues at the place. I had reserved a mid-size room with its own bathroom.
In addition
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, a balcony facing east to enjoy my morning coffee during the beautiful sunrise.
Moreover
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, a little kitchen for the option of cooking by myself.
However
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, at the moment, I am not happy about the current situation.
Although
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the reservation was delivered on time, I have no balcony at all.
Furthermore
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, problems with hot water delivery had occurred several times. The initial shower temperature starts hot, but soon it becomes cold. I had to finish my daily shower with freezing cold liquid.
Overall
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, the flat is in a bad state. In view of these problems, I would be grateful if you could fix the issue with the domestic water supply within two days.
Secondly
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, could you arrange another flat with a balcony by next Friday
.
Change the punctuation
?
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If a new flat is not ready by
then
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, I will look out for another option. Thank you for your support. Yours faithfully, Tom Strauss

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task response
Overall score: 7. Add a little more detail about the flat, such as its size or where it is, but do not add too much.
task response
Use more direct words for the problems. For example, say “There is no balcony” and “The hot water stops after a few minutes.”
task response
Your last line may sound too strong. A softer way is: “If this is not possible, please let me know what other help you can offer.”
coherence and cohesion
Keep one main idea in each paragraph. Put all details about the flat in one short paragraph, then all problems in the next one.
coherence and cohesion
Some linking words are not needed. “Moreover” before “a little kitchen” can be left out to make the sentence more natural.
coherence and cohesion
Use simple, clear phrases. Change “hot water delivery” to “hot water supply” and “freezing cold liquid” to “cold water.”
task response
You cover all three parts: the flat, the problems, and what you want the company to do.
task response
Your requests are clear: fix the hot water and give you another flat with a balcony.
coherence and cohesion
The letter has a clear start, problem part, and ending.
coherence and cohesion
Words such as “However”, “Furthermore”, and “Secondly” help the reader follow your ideas.
coherence and cohesion
The greeting and closing are right for a formal letter.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • accommodation
  • issue
  • problem
  • repair
  • maintenance
  • furniture
  • location
  • quiet
  • noise
  • safe
  • clean
  • washroom
  • kitchen
  • internet
  • wifi
  • electricity
  • water
  • leak
  • frustrate
  • urgent
  • asap
  • please
  • kindly
  • thank you
  • consider
  • address
  • resolve
  • contact
  • respond
  • timeline
  • update
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