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Band 6.5

The chart shows the average number of hours eachy day that Chinese, American, Turkish and Brazilian tourists spent doing liesure activities while on holiday in Greece in August 2019.

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The bar chart illustrates the amount of
time
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 spent per
day
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 on recreation activities by
Chinese
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,
American
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,
Turkish
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 and
Brazilian
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 tourists on holiday in August 2019.
Overall
Linking Words
, the most
prefferd
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preferred
 pastime among
Chinese
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 and
American
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 tourists was
Reading
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reading
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 books.
however
Linking Words
 that of
Turkish
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 and
Brazilian
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 visitors
was
Correct subject-verb agreement
were
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 spending
time
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 at the beaches. Visiting places was the least favourite activity among all four
nationalitists
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nationalities
 given.
Linking Words
initially
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Initially
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,
Chinese
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 individuals invested
approximetaly
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approximately
 8
hours
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 per
day
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 on
Reading
Fix capitalization
reading
show examples
 books
making
Punctuation problem
, making
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 it the most
time
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 spent on an activity among
Correct article usage
the three
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three
Punctuation problem
three,
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of which
Correct pronoun usage
apply
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and
also
Linking Words
 countries
gievn
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given
.
Fallowing
Verb problem
Following
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 that
the
Punctuation problem
, the
show examples
 rest
guests
Change preposition
of the guests
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 with Americans
5
Verb problem
spend 5
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hours
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 per
day
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,
Turkish
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 and Brazilians both
4
Verb problem
spend 4
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hours
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time
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 spent on
Reading
Fix capitalization
reading
show examples
 books.
Furthermore
Linking Words
,
Brazilian
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 indulged
themsevles
Correct your spelling
themselves
 in spending
time
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 at the beaches around 6
hours
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 each
day
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which
Punctuation problem
, which
show examples
 was the highest
time
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 recorded after the former one.
Turkish
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 and
American
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 visitors rejoiced
themselves
Correct pronoun usage
apply
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at the beaches with a narrow margin. 5 and 4
hours
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 respectively.
Chinese
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tourists
Punctuation problem
tourists,
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Linking Words
however
Punctuation problem
however,
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 spent about just 3
hours
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 on diversion
mantioned
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mentioned
.
visiting
Capitalize the word
Visiting
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 places attracted the least individuals
with
Punctuation problem
, with
show examples
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American
Check wording
Americans
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 and
Turkish
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 3
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time spent
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times
show examples
 and
Brazilian
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 2
hours
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.
Chinese
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 only visited the places
1
Change preposition
for 1
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hour each
day
Use synonyms
which
Punctuation problem
, which
show examples
 was the least recorded figure.

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "however".
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Vocabulary: Replace the words time, day, chinese, american, turkish, brazilian, hours with synonyms.
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