IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 1

Government investment in the arts, such as music and theatre, is a waste of money. Governments must invest this money in public services instead. Do you agree or disagree?

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In the present world, governments invest more in the arts than in public services. Obviously, the money goes into music and theatres. It is agreed that supporting the public services would be more useful than helping out
art
Change preposition
with art
show examples
. Analysing the need for toilets in the area,
as well as
Linking Words
 the lacking options for transport, the following points will prove
this
Linking Words

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task response
This is only an introduction, so it does not fully answer the question yet. Add body parts that explain why public services are more important. Give clear examples, such as clean toilets, buses, hospitals, or schools.
task response
Also talk about the other side. Say that art can help people and bring visitors, but explain why public services should still come first.
coherence and cohesion
The last line is not complete: “the following points will prove this”. Finish it, or use a clear plan sentence. For example: “This essay will show that toilets and public transport should be the first use of public money.”
coherence and cohesion
Use simple links to guide the reader: “First”, “Second”, “For example”, and “In the end”. Make one main idea in each body part, then give an example and explain it.
language
Some word choices are not clear. “Helping out art” should be “supporting the arts”. “The lacking options for transport” can be “the lack of public transport”.
task response
Your view is clear: you agree that public services should get more money.
coherence and cohesion
The first part gives two main ideas: toilets and transport. These are on the topic.
Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • cultural enrichment
  • expression of creativity
  • promote diversity
  • enhance social cohesion
  • boost tourism
  • job creation
  • stimulate economic growth
  • improve quality of life
  • essential services
  • maintenance and development
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