IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4

Education is not a luxury, but a basic human right and as such should be free for everyone irrespective of personal wealth. Do you agree or disagree?

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In the present world, education is not available
for
Change preposition
to
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 everybody. Because of the financial hurdle, especially for poor people, there is mostly no access to it . It is agreed that schools
schould
Correct your spelling
should
 be free for everyone irrespective of personal wealth. Analysing the basic human right, as well
the
Correct word choice
as the
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 importance of knowledge in economies
the
Punctuation problem
, the
show examples
 following two points will prove
this
Linking Words
.

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task response
Score: 5. Your answer has a clear view, but it is only an opening. Write two full body parts and a short end. Explain why free education is a right and how it helps people and the country. Add simple real examples.
task response
Say 'education' rather than only 'schools', because the question is about all education. Also, explain what 'free' means: free basic school for every child, paid for by the state.
coherence and cohesion
Score: 5. The order is easy to follow, but the last line is too long and not clear. Use short sentences. For example: 'This essay will show that education is a basic right. It will also show that it helps the economy.'
coherence and cohesion
Use clear links between parts: 'First,' 'For example,' 'As a result,' and 'In the end.' Make sure each body part has one main idea, an explanation, and an example.
language
Check spelling and form: 'should' not 'schould'; 'as well as' not 'as well'; and no space before a full stop. A better first line is: 'In today’s world, many poor people cannot get an education because it costs too much.'
task response
Your view is clear: you agree that school should be free for all people.
coherence and cohesion
The opening gives the main topic and shows that you will write about two main points.
Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • fundamental right
  • accessible
  • social mobility
  • personal and professional development
  • overall development
  • equality
  • social disparities
  • access
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