IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4

Prison is the common way in most countries to solve the problem of crime, however, a more effective solution is to provide people a better education to what extent do you agree or disagree?

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Is the
prison
Use synonyms
 the only place for
criminals
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?
,
Punctuation problem
apply
show examples
or
Verb problem
Or is
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 there
is
Correct determiner usage
a
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 different solution which is more effective?
,
Punctuation problem
apply
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there
Capitalize the proper name
There
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 is
ongoing
Correct article usage
an ongoing
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 debate about
,
Punctuation problem
apply
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 whether the
prison
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 is the most suitable place to punish
criminals
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, or by investing in
well
Replace the word
well-educated
education
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 courses that might
prevents
Wrong verb form
prevent
show examples
 crime. In
this
Linking Words
 essay i will discuss how
education
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 play crucial role, and why
do
Verb problem
apply
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I completely oppose
with
Change preposition
apply
show examples
this
Linking Words
 view,
while
Linking Words
prison
Use synonyms
 can not be the right way for many cases, which might often be ineffective for rehabilitation. The primary reason why I believe the government should go deep on
this
Linking Words
mater
Correct your spelling
matter
 to sick for different method rather than building
new
Correct article usage
a new
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prison
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 , is
education
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 and behaviour courses starting in the schools for students
they
Punctuation problem
, they
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 are the foundation.
in
Capitalize the word
In
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 every peaceful modern population in the new
world
Punctuation problem
world,
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 if we look at
to
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apply
show examples
their
base
Punctuation problem
base,
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 we will see how
do
Verb problem
apply
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they care a lot about them by providing better
education
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.
moreover
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 , if the states focus on
education
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, poverty, and offering more
jobs chances
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job opportunities
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 to help the family that may lead to
strong
Correct article usage
a strong
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 foundation for every society, which
reduce
Correct subject-verb agreement
reduces
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 the number of crimes in future.
Linking Words
for
Capitalize the word
For
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 instance ,looking
to
Change preposition
at
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 the safest country
Linking Words
such
Punctuation problem
, such
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 as Japan , the first thing we will notes that
,
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apply
show examples
 they care more
with
Change preposition
about
show examples
 knowledge and teaching, since
that
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
they have
less percentage
Correct word choice
a lower
show examples
 crime
.
Check wording
rate.
show examples
 So we
proving
Verb problem
are providing
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 good tutors and will
studied
Wrong verb form
study
show examples
 courses
give
Verb problem
to give
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 good
result
Check wording
results
show examples
 to
drop the percent of
Verb problem
reduce
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 the crime
.
Check wording
rate.
show examples
 To go
furthermore
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, the second most important point is that many
criminals
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 after the finish the years in
prison
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 they need support in many ways financeal , behaviours and
education
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, do that mean the the
prison
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 fail leading to more crimes, I read many stores about
criminals
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 life, after the spending years in
prison
Use synonyms
 most of them return back , research was publish in 2025 conclude that the number of the crimes increase every year because of the poverty, with
this
Linking Words
 view it is clearly that government should invest in another method. In conclusion, I firmly
agreed
Wrong verb form
agree
show examples
 that
education
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 is player essential rule in society by providing safety and
decreas
Replace the word
decreasing

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task response
Score: 5. Your main answer is clear, but it is not fully developed. The question asks if education is a more effective answer than prison. State your view in one direct sentence, then compare education and prison in each main part.
task response
Explain each idea with a clear chain: education gives skills; skills help people get work; work can cut poverty; less poverty may mean less crime.
task response
Your Japan example is relevant, but it is too general. Do not make a strong claim unless you can explain it well. Add one clear example of a school or job course and its result.
task response
Your second main part has a good idea about help after prison, but it asks many questions and does not give a full answer. Say clearly that prison alone may not stop future crime, so people need work, learning, and support when they leave.
task response
The conclusion is not finished. Write a full final answer that repeats your view and both main reasons.
coherence and cohesion
Score: 5. Put the question into a normal introduction. Do not begin with two questions. Start with the topic, then give your view.
coherence and cohesion
Use one main idea in each paragraph. Paragraph 1 can be about stopping crime before it starts. Paragraph 2 can be about helping people after prison.
coherence and cohesion
Make sentences shorter. Some sentences are very long, so the meaning is hard to follow. Use full stops more often.
coherence and cohesion
Use simple links in a careful way: First, Also, For example, However, Therefore, In conclusion. Do not add links if the next idea is not clear.
coherence and cohesion
Check that all parts are complete. The last sentence ends at “decreas”, so the essay feels unfinished.
task response
You give a clear view: you agree that education can help cut crime.
task response
You use useful main ideas, such as school, jobs, poverty, and help after prison.
coherence and cohesion
Your essay has an introduction, two main parts, and a conclusion.
coherence and cohesion
Words such as “For instance” and “In conclusion” help the reader follow your ideas.
Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • tackles root causes
  • preventative approach
  • critical thinking
  • decision-making skills
  • recidivism rates
  • equipping
  • socio-economic benefits
  • underlying factors
  • poverty
  • ignorance
  • lack of opportunities
  • rehabilitation
  • ineffective
  • higher rates of re-offending
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