IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

Should private schools receive government funding? Give reasons for your answer, and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

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In
Correct word choice
Whether
show examples
this
Linking Words
 day and age
,
Punctuation problem
apply
show examples
 private educational institutions should get
government
Use synonyms
 funding or not is a controversial topic
.
Correct word order
in this day and age.
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 Many think that some funding from
education
Correct article usage
the education
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 ministry should go to private schools as well.
This
Linking Words
 is because there will be more
oppurtunities
Correct your spelling
opportunities
 to
accomodate
Correct your spelling
accommodate
 significant facilities, and fees will become affordable for the common public. To commence with, several people believe that it will be dramatically beneficial to pupils
,
Punctuation problem
apply
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 if the
government
Use synonyms
is providing
Wrong verb form
provides
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 money to private institutes. There are plenty of ways that can be used,
such
Linking Words
 as in teaching hands-on skills, which can be helpful in
future
Correct article usage
the future
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 job market. Another important aspect is that they can learn
extra curricular
Correct your spelling
extracurricular
 activities like horse riding or other sports. To exemplify, with the help of
Use synonyms
government provided
Correct your spelling
government-provided
 money
overall
Linking Words
 development of a child will increase.
Furthermore
Linking Words
, it would be a huge relief for parents and
gaurdians
Correct your spelling
guardians
 of the young learners, as the fees will turn out to be affordable for
middle
Correct article usage
the middle
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 class.
This
Linking Words
 is
beacause
Correct your spelling
because
 by combining
government
Use synonyms
 funding and private
school's
Check wording
schools'
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revenue
Punctuation problem
revenue,
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 there will be more facilities, including advanced technology in
acadamics
Correct your spelling
academics
 for children.
In addition
Linking Words
, most people tend to send their pupils to only
Use synonyms
government funded
Correct your spelling
government-funded
 schools as they are cheaper.
For instance
Linking Words
, many parents are aware that
few
Correct article usage
a few
show examples
 schools which are not supported by
ministry
Correct article usage
the ministry
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,
Punctuation problem
apply
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focuses
Correct subject-verb agreement
focus
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 only on educational background, rather than
overall
Linking Words
 development
due to
Linking Words
lack
Correct article usage
a lack
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 of
sufficent
Correct your spelling
sufficient
 revenue. In conclusion, the significance of
government
Use synonyms
 funding
private
Change preposition
for private
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 educational institutes is conspicuous.
This
Linking Words
 is because of various ways of providing students with more advanced and effective learning
experience
Check wording
experiences
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.
Moreover
Linking Words
, a child's future gets moulded
from
Change preposition
by
show examples
 a better experience in
the
Correct article usage
apply
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school.
In
Change preposition
From
show examples
 my perspective, the combination of both
kind
Fix the agreement mistake
kinds
show examples
 of funding is the best approach.

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task response
Score: 5. Your answer is on the topic and your main view is clear. But it needs a more full answer. Explain why public money should go to private schools, not only what schools may buy with it.
task response
Your examples are too general. Give one clear example, such as a low-income family whose child can go to a good private school after fees are cut.
task response
Add the other side: some people say public money should first go to public schools. Then say why you still think some money can go to private schools, with clear rules.
coherence and cohesion
Score: 5. The order is easy to see, but some ideas do not link well. For example, horse riding is not a strong reason for public money. Use examples that clearly support your main point.
coherence and cohesion
Make each body part start with one clear main idea. Then add an explanation and one example. This will make your writing easier to read.
coherence and cohesion
Do not repeat the same idea about more school facilities. In the first body part, write about better learning. In the second, write about lower fees and fair chances for poor families.
coherence and cohesion
Your final part should state your view in one clear way. For example: "I think private schools should get limited public money if they cut fees and follow public rules."
task response
You give a clear view: private schools should get some public money.
task response
You give two main reasons: better school life for children and lower fees for parents.
coherence and cohesion
The essay has a clear start, two body parts, and an end.
coherence and cohesion
Words such as "Furthermore", "For instance", and "In conclusion" help the reader follow your ideas.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • government funding
  • private schools
  • public education
  • educational inequality
  • educational choices
  • resources and facilities
  • community benefits
  • competition in education
  • financial aid
  • scholarships
  • socioeconomic backgrounds
  • underfunded
  • dual education system
  • accessibility
What to do next:
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