IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5.5

You have recently moved into a new house. You want to tell your friend about your good news. Write to your friend. In the letter: • Describe the house. • Describe the neighbourhood. • Invite your friend to come and see the house. You do not need to write any addresses. Begin your letter as follows: Dear ...,

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Dear Maunil, Hope you are in good spirits
,
Punctuation problem
.
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 It has been a
while
Linking Words
 since we have talked
,
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;
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 we need to catch up. Anyways, I have
a
Correct article usage
apply
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great news to share with you. I moved
in to
Correct your spelling
into
 a new house
last
Linking Words
 week
and
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, and
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 guess what
;
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,
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 it is only 10 minutes drive from your place. I am very excited to give you details about it
,
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.
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 I would start off
with
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by
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 mentioning that it is a villa kind of concept. The rear view of the house is the lake with a beach access. Isn't it interesting? It is exactly as I have always imagined. It has 5 gigantic bedrooms,
giant
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a giant
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 driveway with
spacious
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a spacious
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 garage and a huge backyard for us to
do
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have
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 parties and lots of fun. The neighbourhood is
also
Linking Words
 superb, as the people around my home are very welcoming and friendly. Interestingly, most of the families are from our community and
that
Correct word choice
apply
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this
Linking Words
an
Verb problem
is an
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 amazing feeling. It just feels like back home. I'm
am
Verb problem
apply
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super excited for you to visit ASAP. Maybe
,
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apply
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 you can plan to join us
on
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for
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 dinner
this
Linking Words
 coming weekend. We can even spend time together by playing card games and
watch
Wrong verb form
watching
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 movies as well. I look forward to your reply super soon. Kind regards, Swapnil

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task response
Score: 7. Give a little more clear detail about the house and the area. For example, say what you like most about the lake or the people near you.
task response
Make the invite more clear: give a day and time, such as “Please come for dinner on Saturday at 7.”
coherence and cohesion
Score: 7. Use shorter sentences. Some long sentences join too many ideas and are hard to read.
coherence and cohesion
Use simple link words to join ideas, such as “also”, “because”, “so”, and “then”.
coherence and cohesion
Keep one main idea in each sentence. For example, split the house details into two or three short sentences.
task response
You cover all three points: the house, the area, and the visit.
task response
The letter has a warm and friendly tone for a friend.
coherence and cohesion
Your ideas are in a clear order: news, house, area, then the invite.
coherence and cohesion
Each main part has its own paragraph, so the letter is easy to follow.
Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

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