IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 2.5

The given pictures illustrate on how a harbour changed since 2000.

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Both illustrations
are showing
Wrong verb form
show
show examples
 how Porth Harbour changed
overtime
Use the right word
over time
show examples
,
as well as
Linking Words
 what additions have been made. Compared to 2000, Porth Harbour today
have
Correct subject-verb agreement
has
show examples
 had multiple differences
and
Punctuation problem
, and
show examples
thus
Linking Words
, I will be
giving
Verb problem
apply
show examples
comparing these upgradations in
this
Linking Words
 essay.
Firstly
Linking Words
, in 2000, starting with the northeast side of the harbour, there was an entrance to the public beach, and a dock with passenger ferries
which
Punctuation problem
, which
show examples
 remains the same in present.
However
Linking Words
, one more dock has been added since 2000.
Moreover
Linking Words
, on the west side, public facilities
such
Linking Words
 as showers and toilets,
car
Correct article usage
a car
show examples
 park,
marina
Correct article usage
a marina
show examples
 (private yachts), and fishing boats are located, but as of
today
Punctuation problem
today,
show examples
 not a lot of upgrades have been made except
an
Change preposition
for
show examples
 additional showers and toilets
Linking Words
along
Punctuation problem
, along
show examples
 with the swapping of fishing boats and Marina.
Furthermore
Linking Words
, cafes and shops were added to the south side
Linking Words
whereas
Punctuation problem
, whereas
show examples
it
Fix the agreement mistake
they
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 didn’t exist in 2000. The most interesting addition was how
disused
Correct article usage
a disused
show examples
 castle was transformed
to
Change preposition
into
show examples
 a hotel, making the nearby public beach private for the hotel.

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task response
Score: 5. The main changes are covered, but some points are not fully clear. For example, say clearly that the marina and fishing boats changed places, rather than “swapping” them.
task response
Add a short overview after the introduction. State the two biggest changes: more visitor services were built, and the old castle area became a hotel with a private beach.
task response
Do not add your opinion in a map report. Remove “The most interesting addition was”. Just describe the change.
task response
Check all map parts before writing. Give each main change a clear place and time, so the reader can see what was there in 2000 and what is there now.
coherence and cohesion
The introduction is hard to read and has no clear overview. Use a simple start: “The maps show changes to Porth Harbour from 2000 to the present day.”
coherence and cohesion
Use two body parts: one for the north and west, and one for the south and east. This will make the report easier to follow.
coherence and cohesion
Some sentences are too long. Make them shorter. For example: “The ferry dock stayed the same. A second dock was built next to it.”
coherence and cohesion
Use clear links for change: “In contrast”, “In addition”, “While”, and “By the present day”. Avoid using too many links in one long sentence.
task response
You name many key changes: a new dock, new cafes and shops, a hotel, and a private beach.
task response
You make some clear comparisons between 2000 and now.
coherence and cohesion
The essay uses order words such as “Firstly”, “However”, “Moreover”, and “Furthermore”.
coherence and cohesion
Most details are grouped by area of the harbour, such as the north-east, west, and south.
Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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