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Band 7

Technology is becoming progressively universal. In the fullness of time, classroom teachers will be totally substituted for technology. Do you agree or disagree?

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In the present world, the usage of computers is constantly on the rise. Even classrooms are among the many places that enjoy the usage and benefits of automation. It is disputed that
classroom
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teachers
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 will be totally substituted by machinery. Analysing the incapability of disciplining
classroom
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students
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 with robotics,
as well as
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 the limitations in the learning process of
students
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 taught with technology, will prove
this
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.
Firstly
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, a robotic teacher made with artificial intelligence would lack sufficient control over its
classroom
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students
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.
For instance
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, it is widely known that kids need to be thoroughly watched by their
teachers
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 to be sure that they take their classwork seriously and do not fool around when classes are going on. Sadly,
this
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 is a task robotic
teachers
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 will be incapable of carrying out.
Therefore
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,
this
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 makes it clear that
classroom
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teachers
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 will never be totally substituted by mechanisation.
Secondly
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, the learning process of
students
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 would be disrupted if they are taught by robotic
teachers
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, which may slow down some
students
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’ ability to comprehend information taught in lessons.
For example
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, kids love to be motivated before lessons are taught effectively.
This
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 is a quality that many human
teachers
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 have , but robotic
teachers
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 do not have.
Thus
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, it becomes apparent that human
teachers
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 will never be replaced by robotic
teachers
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 in a
classroom
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. To summarise, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary discipline to properly give instructions to
students
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 and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons.
Therefore
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,
it is clear that
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 the idea of running a
classroom
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 completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis of
this
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 subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of
this
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,
classroom
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teachers
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 will never be substituted for technology.

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task response
Score: 6. Your answer is clear, but the two reasons are not fully developed. Explain more exactly why a robot cannot keep order, and why a human teacher can help a child learn better.
task response
Your examples are quite general. Add one real class example. For example, say how a teacher can see a quiet child who does not understand, then change the way they teach.
task response
Be careful with very strong words such as “never” and “totally”. They can make your point less fair. You could say that technology will support teachers, but it is unlikely to replace them fully.
coherence and cohesion
Score: 7. The main order is good, but some parts repeat the same idea. For example, “will never be totally substituted” is said many times. Say it once clearly at the end of each main part.
coherence and cohesion
Make the link between each example and your main point more direct. After the example, add one short line that shows why this means a human teacher is still needed.
coherence and cohesion
Your last part is too long and repeats earlier ideas. End with a short, direct final view: technology is useful, but teachers are still needed for class control and human support.
task response
Your view is clear: you disagree that teachers will be fully replaced. You give two main reasons, and both stay on the topic.
task response
The essay has a clear start, two body parts, and an end. This means you answer all parts of the question.
coherence and cohesion
Your ideas are in a good order. First, you write about class control. Then, you write about learning and support.
coherence and cohesion
You use clear linking words, such as “Firstly”, “Secondly”, “For example”, “Therefore”, and “To summarise”.
Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • progressively
  • substituted
  • prevalent
  • crucial
  • enhance
  • support
  • guidance
  • interaction
  • personal touch
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