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Writing Samples
Band 7.5

The internet is an amazing invention which has changed the world. It has affected how people live. Give the advantages and disadvantages of the internet.

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The
internet
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 is widely regarded as one of the most significant inventions in modern history, as it has fundamentally transformed the way
people
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 live, work and communicate.
While
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 it offers numerous benefits, it
also
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 brings certain drawbacks.
This
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 essay will examine both the advantages and disadvantages of the
internet
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. On the one hand, the
internet
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 has several clear disadvantages. One major problem is that many
people
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, especially young adults, spend excessive amounts of time online.
This
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 often reduces their concentration, decreases productivity and can lead to health issues
such
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 as eye strain, poor sleep and lack of physical activity.
In addition
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, heavy
internet
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 use can weaken real-life social relationships. Many individuals prefer staying alone and interacting through screens rather than spending quality time with their family members.
On the other hand
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, the
internet
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 provides substantial advantages, particularly in the field of education and personal development.
People
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 can easily access a wide range of information related to their studies or careers, which helps them improve their knowledge and skills. Platforms
such
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 as YouTube offer free educational videos on almost every subject, allowing learners to understand complex topics at their own pace.
Furthermore
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, many countries now provide free online courses, making high-quality education more accessible to students and young
people
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 regardless of their location. In conclusion,
although
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 the
internet
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 has some negative effects on health and social life, its benefits in education and access to information are more significant. If used responsibly, the
internet
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 can be a powerful tool that improves
people
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’s lives.

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task response
Score: 7. To reach 8, add one more clear advantage, such as quick contact with people far away, online work, or buying things from home. This will make your answer more full.
task response
Give a little more detail for each main point. For example, say how poor sleep affects school or work, or give one short example of a student in a small town using an online class.
task response
Be careful with “many countries now provide free online courses”. This is a very wide claim. You could say “many schools and groups offer free online courses” instead.
coherence and cohesion
Score: 8. Your order is strong, but the first body part starts with the bad side and the next starts with the good side. This is fine, but make the order match your start more closely by saying “First, the disadvantages...” and “Second, the advantages...”.
coherence and cohesion
Use a few more links that show cause and result, such as “As a result”, “Because of this”, or “For this reason”. This will make the links between ideas even clearer.
coherence and cohesion
The last sentence is good, but it could link back to both sides more directly: “Therefore, people should use the internet in a wise way so they can gain its good points and avoid its bad points.”
task response
You answer both parts of the task: the good and bad sides of the internet. Your view is also clear in the end.
task response
Your main ideas are easy to understand. You give clear bad points: too much time online, health problems, and less time with family.
task response
The YouTube example is useful and fits your point about learning.
coherence and cohesion
The essay has a clear start, two main body parts, and a clear ending.
coherence and cohesion
Your ideas are in a good order. Each body part has one main side of the topic.
coherence and cohesion
Linking words such as “On the one hand”, “On the other hand”, “In addition”, and “Furthermore” help the reader follow your ideas.
Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

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