IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

These days it is much easier for many people to travel to different countries for tourism than in the past. Do the advantages of this development outweigh the disadvantages ?

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Nowadays, it is much more common for many individuals to
travel
Use synonyms
 worldwide for tourism than it was in the past. In my way of thinking, the advantages of
this
Linking Words
 development outweigh the disadvantages. One of the main advantages of easier international tourism these days is
Use synonyms
travel
Correct article usage
the travel
show examples
 agencies.
This
Linking Words
 offers people so many possibilities so they can
travel
Use synonyms
 wherever they want without worries, having not just a trip but a full experience. To illustrate, there are people who cannot
not
Remove the redundancy
apply
show examples
cooperate with the companies,
such
Linking Words
 as airlines, hotels
nor
Punctuation problem
, nor
show examples
organize
Change the spelling
organise
show examples
 themselves an enjoyable vacation, including transfer, medical insurance or eventually a visa. Today,
specialized
Change the spelling
specialised
show examples
 agencies provide
travel
Use synonyms
 packages including all services to clients for different holiday
proposes
Replace the word
purposes
, whether
is
Correct pronoun usage
it is
show examples
 a mountain or a seaside trip and for every budget.
Furthermore
Linking Words
, companies offer a wide range of
travel
Use synonyms
 options,
such
Linking Words
 as city breaks, organised tours and seasonal promotions, that can be at affordable prices.
Nevertheless
Linking Words
, travelling to different countries cannot be easier and could lead to disadvantages too, one significant
is
Correct pronoun usage
one is
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 overtourism in many popular destinations. As travelling abroad has become more affordable and convenient,
like
Change preposition
with
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 great prices or different means of transport ,like planes, ferry-boats or trains
;
Punctuation problem
,
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 an increasing number of tourists visiting the same places can result in big queues, overcrowded
sight seeing
Correct your spelling
sightseeing
 and even overbooked hotels or apartments and a decline in the quality of the
travel
Use synonyms
 adventures.
For example
Linking Words
,
big
Correct article usage
a big
show examples
 and
visited
Correct word choice
popular
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 city like Barcelona can be pretty crowded, and people should buy tickets in advance for different tourist attractions, including a variety of museums or parks
to
Punctuation problem
, to
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 avoid long waiting times.
Moreover
Linking Words
, the company airbnb which provides apartments for tourists, is
over solicited
Correct your spelling
oversubscribed
 and many can’t rent a place to stay in the city
when is
Change preposition
during
show examples
 peak season. In conclusion,
although
Linking Words
 travelling abroad
much
Verb problem
is much
show examples
 easier today has so many negative consequences, I think its advantages are more considerable.

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task response
Score: 6. Your ideas are clear, but the first main point is not the best answer to the question. Travel agencies are not the main reason why travel is easier now. Write more about low-cost flights, online booking, better transport, and easier visa rules.
task response
Make your view stronger. After each main point, say clearly why it shows that the good points are greater than the bad points. You can add that tourism gives work and money to local people.
task response
Develop the bad point a little more. Say how too many visitors can hurt local life, nature, and house prices. Then explain why these problems can be managed.
coherence and cohesion
Score: 6. Keep one main idea in each part. In the first part, some ideas are mixed: travel agencies, airlines, hotels, insurance, visas, and prices. Start with one clear topic sentence, then give one or two reasons and one example.
coherence and cohesion
Some sentences are very long. Split them into shorter sentences so your meaning is more clear. This will also make the links between ideas better.
coherence and cohesion
Use clearer links for contrast. For example: “However, this can cause overtourism.” In the end, repeat your main view and give one short reason why the good points are greater.
task response
You answer the question clearly. You say the good points are greater than the bad points, and you keep this view to the end.
task response
You give one good point and one bad point, with clear examples such as Barcelona and Airbnb.
coherence and cohesion
Your essay has a clear start, two main parts, and an end. This makes it easy to follow.
coherence and cohesion
You use linking words such as “To illustrate”, “Furthermore”, “Nevertheless”, “For example”, and “Moreover” well.
Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • boost local economies
  • cultural exchange
  • mutual understanding
  • environmental degradation
  • deforestation
  • overcrowding
  • commodification
  • authentic cultural experiences
  • revenue
  • perspective
  • globalization
  • sustainable tourism
  • heritage sites
  • local customs
  • appreciation of diversity
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