The bar chart below shows the percentage of male and female university students who participated in five extracurricular activities at a university in 2015.

✍️ Want to check your own essay?Write on this topic →

The given bar chart compares the proportion of both genders, male and female university students, who participated in five different

activities

Use synonyms

at a university in the year 2015.

Overall

Linking Words

it is clear that

Linking Words

males

Use synonyms

had the highest percentage in two out of five

activities

Use synonyms

, namely

sports

Use synonyms

and debates,

while

Linking Words

females

Use synonyms

accounted for the

others

Correct word choice

other

show examples

activities

Use synonyms

. It is

also

Linking Words

evident that

males

Use synonyms

represented the largest share in

sports

Use synonyms

whereas

Linking Words

females

Use synonyms

demonstrated the

utmost

Correct word choice

largest

show examples

fraction in music. In detail, the share of

males

Use synonyms

sports

Use synonyms

accounted for 78% in terms of

sports

Use synonyms

in 2015, compared with 62% for

females

Use synonyms

However

Linking Words

, there was a moderate difference of 27 percentage points between

males

Use synonyms

and

females

Use synonyms

in music, at 41% and 68%, respectively. The figure for

females

Use synonyms

in volunteering stood at 51%,

whereas

Linking Words

males

Use synonyms

had

lower

Correct article usage

a lower

show examples

proportion than

females

Use synonyms

, at 35%.

Following

Linking Words

this

Linking Words

trend

the

Punctuation problem

, the

show examples

remaining

activities

Use synonyms

namely

Punctuation problem

, namely

show examples

: debates and art clubs.

Moreover

Linking Words

, there was a slight

different

Replace the word

difference

of 7 percentage points between

males

Use synonyms

and

females

Use synonyms

in debates, at 46% and 39% in 2015, respectively.

Likewise

Linking Words

females

Use synonyms

had twice as many as

males

Use synonyms

in art clubs at 57%, compared with 28% for

males

Use synonyms

Bunnijon16

Aug 7, 2026

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Sentences: Add more complex sentences.

▼

Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "whereas".

▼

Vocabulary: Rephrase your introduction. Words match: 69%.

▼

Vocabulary: Replace the words activities, males, sports, females with synonyms.

▼

Vocabulary: The word "compares" was used 3 times.

▼

Vocabulary: The word "percentage" was used 3 times.

▼

Vocabulary: The word "proportion" was used 2 times.

▼

Do you want to check your IELTS essays?

Submit unlimited essays, letters and charts. Sign up right now and start improving your writing skills.

10
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
4
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
6
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 8.0

Logical structure

Single idea per paragraph

Introduction & conclusion present

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 5.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 9.0

Complete response

Suitable writing tone

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

188 words

🚀 Prepare for IELTS writing section today!

Unlimited Task 1 & Task 2 checks
Practice with essays, charts, and letters.
Personalized suggestions & mistake analysis
Spot every mistake and boost your score.
Topic ideas & vocabulary helpers
Expand your ideas and use the right words.
Progress tracking
Watch your writing improve with every practice.

What to do next:

Look at other essays:

6
band
Learning English at school is often seen as more important than learning local languages. If these are not taught, many are at risk of dying out. In your opinion, is it important for everyone to learn English? Should we try to ensure the survival of local languages and, if so, how?
Some people argue that studying English at school is more essential than traditional language. Although I believe as a universal language, it is important for children to learn English at school, there is still a way to maintain the traditional language as the legacy of culture so it will not be extinct easily.
7.5
band
Money spent on space exploration is a complete waste. Governments could better spend this money on other things to benefit the nation. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
There can be little doubt that the government completely wastes a large amount of money on exploration outside the earth, while the government can spend this money on other national priorities. The writer of this essay argues that the money that was spent on space exploration is an entire loss because of environmental pollution and uncertain returns on investment.
8
band
Schools should focus on academic success and passing examinations. Skills such as cookery, dressmaking and woodwork should not be taught at school as it is better to learn these from family and friends. To that extent do you agree or disagree?
Many people think that schools should only focus on teaching academic subjects and preparing students for formal exams. I completely disagree and would argue that practical life skills should be taught as well.
7.5
band
School children are becoming far too dependent on computers. This is having an alarming effect on reading and writing skills. Teachers need to avoid using computers in the classroom at all costs and go back to teaching basic study skills. Do you agree or disagree?
Today, schools are increasingly using computers. Some teachers think that the use of such gadgets can negative effect on the quality of learning and suggest removing computers from schools. I definitely disagree with this position and I believe that in the era of modern technology, school children should use computers in their education. In my essay, I would like to give some arguments to justify my position.
6.5
band
Some people support the development of agriculture, like factory farming and the scientific creation of fruits and vegetables, while others oppose. Discuss both views and give your opinion
In the salad days of the millennium, this society is polarised into two groups almost equally regarding the notion of whether there should be some advanced changes in agriculture or not. People have different mindsets on this phenomenon. This essay will look into both aspects under scrutiny prior to drawing a meaningful verdict.

The bar chart below shows the percentage of male and female university students who participated in five extracurricular activities at a university in 2015.

Learning English at school is often seen as more important than learning local languages. If these are not taught, many are at risk of dying out. In your opinion, is it important for everyone to learn English? Should we try to ensure the survival of local languages and, if so, how?

Money spent on space exploration is a complete waste. Governments could better spend this money on other things to benefit the nation. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Schools should focus on academic success and passing examinations. Skills such as cookery, dressmaking and woodwork should not be taught at school as it is better to learn these from family and friends. To that extent do you agree or disagree?

School children are becoming far too dependent on computers. This is having an alarming effect on reading and writing skills. Teachers need to avoid using computers in the classroom at all costs and go back to teaching basic study skills. Do you agree or disagree?

Some people support the development of agriculture, like factory farming and the scientific creation of fruits and vegetables, while others oppose. Discuss both views and give your opinion