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Writing Samples
Band 4.5

Organizing a large family celebration such as a wedding can often create problems. what can be the problems associated with organizing a large family event and what solutions can you suggest?

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In many parts of the world, planning
such
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 a big family
events
Fix the agreement mistake
event
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 can create issues between family members.
Unlimit
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 disagreements may occure so it is important to keep a small group in charge of the organising. When hosting a huge event, occasion or celebration
with in
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within
 the family,
ecpecially
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especially
 if it includes many
guests
Punctuation problem
guests,
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 a lot of opposite opinions can come.
This
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 is because
evreyone
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everyone
 wants to take
a
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apply
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part and have their names mentioned. So, the disagreement will create a negative effect.
For
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instance
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instance,
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 arguing about the date or
locationg
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location
 could take weeks or months to set on one that satisfies all of them. Moving on,
this
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 issue can be prevented by taking a step back and leaving the planning part for only a small
froup
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group
 of the family, specifically the ones related to the occasion.
This
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 will save up a lot of unnecessary discussions and
less time wasted
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waste less time
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.
In other words
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, if parents
wants
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want
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 to celebrate their son's graduation, the organising part should be
completly
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completely
 on them. From choosing a date to setting up the location. And all of that
have
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has
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 to be done before an
announcment
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announcement
 is made.
At the end
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, the parents will be proud and happy, celebrating with the ones they love without losing any energy on arguments. In conclusion, hosting and
organisig
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organising
 big family events can be stressful and
grow
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cause
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 some tension between the individuals. But with keeping
rhe
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the
 mesion for small
groups
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groups,
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 a lot can be saved. I believe that it is better to enjoy one celebration than
focusing
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focus
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 on what
evreyone's
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everyone's
opionion
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opinion
 is and what each needs.

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task response
Score: 5. Your main ideas are clear, but you give only one main problem: family disagreement. Add one more problem, such as high cost, too many guests, or too much work. Then give a solution for it.
task response
Explain your ideas more. Say why family members may disagree: they may want different food, places, dates, or guest lists. This will make your answer more complete.
task response
Your solution is useful, but it is too strong to leave all planning to only one small group. Say that the group can ask others for ideas first, then make the final choice.
coherence and cohesion
Score: 5. Keep one clear idea in each body paragraph. Paragraph 1 can be about disagreement; paragraph 2 can be about cost or work; paragraph 3 can give solutions.
coherence and cohesion
Some linking words do not fit well. Do not use “Moving on” in a formal essay. Use “One solution is” or “To solve this problem” instead.
coherence and cohesion
Make the last paragraph shorter and clearer. Repeat the two main problems and the main solutions in simple words.
task response
You answer both parts: you name a problem and give a solution.
task response
Your example about parents planning a son's graduation is clear and on-topic.
coherence and cohesion
The essay has a clear start, middle, and end.
coherence and cohesion
You use linking words such as “For instance”, “Moving on”, “In other words”, and “In conclusion”.
Answer the 'Problem and Solution' topic

Problem-and-solution essays fall naturally into two parts, the first describing and exploring the problem, the second setting out the solution or solutions.

You essay structure should look something like this:

  • Introduction
  • Body paragraph 1 – Problems
  • Body paragraph 2 – Solutions
  • Conclusion

Examples to start your body paragraph:

  • One of the first problems of the...
  • Another problem that needs to be considered...
  • A possible solution to this problem would be...
  • One immediate practical solution is to...

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • celebration
  • organizing
  • wedding
  • problems
  • budget constraints
  • prioritize
  • realistic
  • venue selection
  • research
  • guest list management
  • finalize
  • catering arrangements
  • professional
  • coordinator
  • entertainment
  • activities
  • accommodation
  • out-of-town guests
  • opinions
  • expectations
  • communicate
  • compromises
What to do next:
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